My Dinner with Malone

Session Start (AIM - boz48730:bubba ho tep 75): Mon Sep 06 06:56:31 2004
bubba ho tep 75: go back to bed
boz48730: make me
bubba ho tep 75: Hex on yo ass
boz48730: wtf it's like 4am in the OC
bubba ho tep 75: (boz falls asleep)
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah, but were surfing
boz48730: WE?
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah, me and the rest of the supermodels
bubba ho tep 75: kicking sand in the faces of the weak
bubba ho tep 75: EFF Charles Atlas and his sisy propaganda
boz48730: I was trying to think of a name of a super model but couldn't
bubba ho tep 75: sissy
bubba ho tep 75: oh, c'mon, Bozzius - YOU can't?
bubba ho tep 75: der
boz48730: um, hold on
bubba ho tep 75: oh man...
boz48730: christina crawford?
bubba ho tep 75: George Micheal
bubba ho tep 75: I didn't get that joke either, don't worry
boz48730: bea arthur?
bubba ho tep 75: In The Star Wars Xmas special that you sent me?
boz48730: what about it
boz48730: oh yeah her!
bubba ho tep 75: She was in it. Yeah
boz48730: did you finally figure out how to play it?
bubba ho tep 75: She's hot. Yeah, totally. Love it because it sucks major ass
bubba ho tep 75: I DO remember seeing that when I was young but when I would tell people nobody would believe me. Am I THAT old?
bubba ho tep 75: or just not somebody you can trust?
bubba ho tep 75: (Boz eneters joke here)
bubba ho tep 75: enters
boz48730: I remember it, I didn't watch it, the star wars phenomenom really hadn't started yet
boz48730: the special was sort of an intergalactic Love Boat
bubba ho tep 75: This was way back in the day when we only had about seven channels
bubba ho tep 75: Disco-fest
boz48730: was Nipsey Russel in it?
bubba ho tep 75: Oh god. Ummm...who?
bubba ho tep 75: Sounds sexy
bubba ho tep 75: or racist
boz48730: hey, you should email me your mailing address and I can send you the Beast of Boz Boxed set.
boz48730: you could send me a Malone original drawing in payment
bubba ho tep 75: I noticed that on your site. Sounded cool. Okay, then it's a deal
boz48730: I have great taste in music by the way
bubba ho tep 75: I'll email it to you
boz48730: good deal
bubba ho tep 75: your taste in music is pretty cool
bubba ho tep 75: i think
boz48730: how long you staying in Vinnie Vega?
bubba ho tep 75: I shouldn't say that out loud
bubba ho tep 75: evil vegas?
boz48730: yeah very evil
bubba ho tep 75: ummm
bubba ho tep 75: almost three days.
bubba ho tep 75: cool, eh?
bubba ho tep 75: my sis was just there
bubba ho tep 75: I think I posted about that
boz48730: yeah, three days is plenty long enough, dvl was there last weekend
bubba ho tep 75: she seems cool
boz48730: she is
bubba ho tep 75: you have a crush
boz48730: she adores me
bubba ho tep 75: you like her
bubba ho tep 75: fantisize about her
bubba ho tep 75: wanna marry her
bubba ho tep 75: the dvl
bubba ho tep 75: admit it
bubba ho tep 75: now
bubba ho tep 75: do it
boz48730: I'd have to kill her husband first and he's an ex marine
boz48730: and a lawyer
bubba ho tep 75: ex marines and lawyers are soft
boz48730: hey, she's been trying to figure out a way to meet you
boz48730: she has this thing about meeting people from online
bubba ho tep 75: you just gotta sneak up on em ninja-like
bubba ho tep 75: uh oh
boz48730: she's met anti
boz48730: and his cousin viking
boz48730: and thor
boz48730: and the hulk
bubba ho tep 75: she lives close to me, doesn't she? Anti and I have emailed a coupla times. He's close
bubba ho tep 75: peter parker lives all the way in Queens, though
boz48730: she lives in west hollywood or beverly hills
bubba ho tep 75: abvout thirty to forty mins away from me.
bubba ho tep 75: about
boz48730: peter park is a queen
bubba ho tep 75: Hot in tights
bubba ho tep 75: um
boz48730: have you ever read the Hulk Blog?
boz48730: it's hilarious
bubba ho tep 75: Hard's wallowing in despair somewhere...yes, I've read that a long time ago. it was funny
bubba ho tep 75: Bush's blog is funnier
boz48730: I'm #5 on the anyone but Kerry blog
bubba ho tep 75: saw that
boz48730: I think that is melissa and her b/f Jer that put that together
bubba ho tep 75: i wrote on there somewhere
boz48730: butterfly teeth
bubba ho tep 75: mel? oh
bubba ho tep 75: If I ever meet another blogger person, I'll send you pictures
boz48730: not the mel that you knew, the one who had a crush on you, a different one
bubba ho tep 75: got it
bubba ho tep 75: that mel ended up hating me because I ...
boz48730: you've met hard, and cp, they are bloggers
boz48730: why?
bubba ho tep 75: I dont even know what I did wrong
boz48730: how about her friend, damn what's her name
bubba ho tep 75: didnt want to jump in an airplane and get all cute and not live a real life
boz48730: amy choppa!
bubba ho tep 75: The Choppa is cool
bubba ho tep 75: love the chop
boz48730: she hates me
bubba ho tep 75: Talked to Cartoon Pig today
bubba ho tep 75: why?
boz48730: I dunno
boz48730: it's ok though
bubba ho tep 75: She's cool. Oh well
boz48730: dvl has a friend who is good friends with the choppa
bubba ho tep 75: You better not be naked right now
bubba ho tep 75: just wanted to throw that out there
boz48730: I have never been naked in my life
bubba ho tep 75: You were born in a cardigan
bubba ho tep 75: doh
bubba ho tep 75: ytake that, Colezius
bubba ho tep 75: take
boz48730: I'm stunned into silence
boz48730: by your rapier like wit
bubba ho tep 75: You remind me of Debbie Gibson...ON ACID
bubba ho tep 75: thrust
bubba ho tep 75: slice
bubba ho tep 75: (boz is impaled)
bubba ho tep 75: ugh
boz48730: she got ugly real quick
bubba ho tep 75: Bea Arthur? I know
bubba ho tep 75: Oh, wait...we were talking about the gal who played Flo on Alice...
boz48730: the cartoon pig looks like a british secret agent in one of those 60's spy movies
boz48730: the iprcress files
bubba ho tep 75: If they ever made ugly sticks - I'd run around Hollywood and attack people
bubba ho tep 75: Cartoon Pig is fucking funny in real life. He's a teacher. can you believe that? My ribs are still all messed up from his pool party
bubba ho tep 75: I have a bunch of pics
boz48730: I was a teacher too
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah, I know...you need to tell more stories
boz48730: till they got wise to my ... I mean until health issues forced me into early retirement
bubba ho tep 75: Hmmm...
bubba ho tep 75: elaboration?
boz48730: who is that guy in the mug shot
bubba ho tep 75: on mine?
boz48730: he looks familiar
boz48730: yeah
bubba ho tep 75: have no idea. it's been a while whats it look like?
boz48730: he looks like a clean cut jim morrison but it was taken in 1963
bubba ho tep 75: How'd you know when it was taken?boz48730: well duh, it has the date on it
bubba ho tep 75: oh. doi
bubba ho tep 75: it is him
bubba ho tep 75: in college
boz48730: in florida?
bubba ho tep 75: si
bubba ho tep 75: i guess b4 UCLA
boz48730: ok, I'll buy that
boz48730: yeah, his father was an admiral in the navy, so he moved around i guess
bubba ho tep 75: You gotta watch out for all of those kids who spawned by Government workers. (like me too)
bubba ho tep 75: They become MADMENbubba ho tep 75: MADMEN
boz48730: yeah, your old man was a spy of some kind wasn't he
bubba ho tep 75: pretty much. How'd you get that?
bubba ho tep 75: I don't like to say exactly what he did - but I know I've said stuff about it, I think
boz48730: I was in the very lowest echelon of NSA when I was in the air force, and you pick up on those things
bubba ho tep 75: He doesn't like it
bubba ho tep 75: wait. what?
boz48730: NSA?
bubba ho tep 75: know that. doi
boz48730: National Security Agency
bubba ho tep 75: doidoi
boz48730: yeah, I was a code jockey
bubba ho tep 75: no fucking way
boz48730: a monkey who could type
boz48730: way
bubba ho tep 75: my pops dealy with short wave radio for a bit
bubba ho tep 75: how old are you again, Bozzius?
boz48730: 54
bubba ho tep 75: I knew that
boz48730: so did I
bubba ho tep 75: liar
bubba ho tep 75: you forget. Just like I do.
boz48730: it's easy to remember my age because I was born in a zero year
bubba ho tep 75: I allocate my age by 25 year increments
bubba ho tep 75: 75 00 25 50
boz48730: you're 31 aren't you?
boz48730: hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
bubba ho tep 75: nope
boz48730: I know
bubba ho tep 75: you were a code cracker
bubba ho tep 75: ha
boz48730: 27 0r 28
bubba ho tep 75: cole
bubba ho tep 75: cmon
boz48730: me, no, even lower than that
bubba ho tep 75: cracker jack cracker
bubba ho tep 75: doi
boz48730: I worked at the snack bar in the code crackers building
bubba ho tep 75: hahaha
bubba ho tep 75: I once delivered snacks to the CIA Headquarters
boz48730: they actually had a snack bar and you needed a top secret clearance to work in it
bubba ho tep 75: These Cheez-It's are contaminated!!!
boz48730: what were you doing in DC?
bubba ho tep 75: They slipped Cyanide in my Mike N Ike's!!!!
bubba ho tep 75: I was sperm
boz48730: you were AC in DC
bubba ho tep 75: que?
boz48730: AC/DC
bubba ho tep 75: back in black?
bubba ho tep 75: I was Angu Steak
boz48730: or you swing either way
bubba ho tep 75: Angus
bubba ho tep 75: You need to check out a band called The Cardigans
bubba ho tep 75: And they have a hot lead singer
boz48730: I know who they are, oh yeah she was or probably is still hot, they had that one big song when MTV used to play videos
bubba ho tep 75: si. way back in the day
boz48730: from norway or france or something
bubba ho tep 75: sweden maybe
boz48730: yeah, that was my third choice
bubba ho tep 75: I think that I may be a once a couple of days poster now.
boz48730: that would be an improvemnt, you haven't been doing much lately
bubba ho tep 75: I waste too much time on the computer to relax and get nothing productive done
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah. i still ove FFM - but It ...
bubba ho tep 75: love
boz48730: I've been churning it out the past few days
bubba ho tep 75: doesn't seem to fit too much into my schedule sometimes now
bubba ho tep 75: ebb flow
boz48730: I figure since hardly anyone reads it anymore I'll just write what i want
bubba ho tep 75: ees coo
boz48730: now if we were a couple of hot 20 something chicks we would have all kinds of readers
bubba ho tep 75: i'm gonna keep ffm forever and then it'll always be there when I'm huge
bubba ho tep 75: yeah - but there's always hot 20-something year old chicks
bubba ho tep 75: boring
bubba ho tep 75: you masturbate
bubba ho tep 75: and then you're done
boz48730: unless they have something to say
bubba ho tep 75: they have NOTHING to say
boz48730: have you been following the drama that is anti and raymi?
bubba ho tep 75: It's only more interseting because they're hot
bubba ho tep 75: which makes sense, I guess
bubba ho tep 75: yeah
bubba ho tep 75: they're both cool
bubba ho tep 75: so
bubba ho tep 75: I don't care
bubba ho tep 75: they should just write, Then I'm happy
boz48730: she used to write some really good stuff
bubba ho tep 75: we sound like a bunch of gossiping queens
bubba ho tep 75: she still does - it's just that she can't take her fans...
boz48730: no, you sound like one, I sound like your therapist
bubba ho tep 75: some suck and some are cool, but the sucky ones...suck
bubba ho tep 75: My therapist is the bottle, books, the pen, and the cats...
bubba ho tep 75: and Lon Cheney
boz48730: when you let it all hang out like she does, you attract that type of stalker mentality knuckle dragger guy
boz48730: sr or jr?
bubba ho tep 75: jr
boz48730: he was good in that Steinbeck thing
bubba ho tep 75: which one?
bubba ho tep 75: beer run
boz48730: where he played the tard who crushed the girl
boz48730: damn I can't remember shit anymore
bubba ho tep 75: ha
bubba ho tep 75: umm
boz48730: they remade it with malkovich and that other guy
bubba ho tep 75: is the movie called The Tard Who Crushed The Girl?
boz48730: of mice and men
bubba ho tep 75: Ahhh...I thought you were talking about Frankenstein. Same plot.
bubba ho tep 75: basically
boz48730: Steinbeck wrote Frankenstein?
bubba ho tep 75: mentor. molder. creator. tard. big hands. dead young pretty girl.
bubba ho tep 75: ha
bubba ho tep 75: no
bubba ho tep 75: George Lucas.
boz48730: Steinbeck was pretty good though
bubba ho tep 75: Except that now he's doing anew version in which the young girl shoots first
boz48730: didn't he have a gay marraige with Kerouac?
bubba ho tep 75: Mary Shelley
bubba ho tep 75: Lucas? No. That was Coppola
boz48730: no Steinbeck
bubba ho tep 75: Allen Ginsberg?
boz48730: I made a post about mary shelley the other day
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah?
boz48730: yeah, I wish I knew what it was about
bubba ho tep 75: Interesting circumstances happened to that gal. that's the only reason we're talking about her
bubba ho tep 75: you know about her?
boz48730: of yeah, I compared her to cameron diaz in something about mary
bubba ho tep 75: My two best buddies saw her at The House Of Blues. They were both taller than her
boz48730: they share the same birthday
bubba ho tep 75: she's five ten, I think
boz48730: mary shelley?
bubba ho tep 75: mary's hot.
boz48730: I love her shawls
bubba ho tep 75: go shawdy
bubba ho tep 75: okay
bubba ho tep 75: that's mu que
bubba ho tep 75: how do you spell that?
bubba ho tep 75: quie?
bubba ho tep 75: duh!
bubba ho tep 75: cue
boz48730: I don't know
bubba ho tep 75: as in pool
boz48730: my dad use to hustle pool
bubba ho tep 75: My dad used to read Hustler
bubba ho tep 75: Hey
bubba ho tep 75: post this on your site
boz48730: rimshot!!!
bubba ho tep 75: this is your next post
bubba ho tep 75: we'll make millions
boz48730: yeah, I'll do excerpts that make me look witty and urbane and make you look tard-like
bubba ho tep 75: cool with me
boz48730: the sun is up!
bubba ho tep 75: later...oh god....why cant i sleep...
boz48730: it's supposed to rain today
bubba ho tep 75: send some over here it's hot as a mother fucker
boz48730: yeah, catch you later kev, don't forget to email your address to me
bubba ho tep 75: si, senor.......buy my ebay shit, man - help a nigga out
boz48730: like I'm a comic book nerd!
boz48730: ch'yeah
bubba ho tep 75: You only wish you were
boz48730: I threw the elvis tv guide away
bubba ho tep 75: post this whole conversation or I'll kill you in your sleep
boz48730: ok, I will, I promise
bubba ho tep 75: Yeah - you threw it away and I'm gonna get at least a buck for it....
boz48730: it cost more than a buck to buy in the first place
bubba ho tep 75: i don't even know why I bought it. I've never purchased a tv guide in my life.
bubba ho tep 75: That's like a suicidal man buying more bullets for his gun
boz48730: you must have a crap load of stuff cubbied away
bubba ho tep 75: Some pretty unusual stuff
bubba ho tep 75: really
boz48730: I have a bunch of muppet mcdonald glasses, the kind they used the lead paint on
bubba ho tep 75: lead makes you smarter
bubba ho tep 75: see? you could sell those on Ebay
boz48730: they're almost thirty years old
boz48730: and it seems like only yesterday when I was drinking coke out of them
bubba ho tep 75: You should send me a half of a picture that you painted, mail it to me, and then I'll paint the other half, and then we can sell it on ebay
boz48730: oh that would be good, considering that I have no artistic talent whatsoever
bubba ho tep 75: yeah...talent schmalent
boz48730: they won
boz48730: the won't sell me paint anymore
bubba ho tep 75: the jews?
bubba ho tep 75: Reese Withespoon?
bubba ho tep 75: Wither
bubba ho tep 75: Johnathan Winters?
boz48730: If you don't use it it will wither
boz48730: fuck it, I'm going to bed
bubba ho tep 75: Wil Wheaton?
bubba ho tep 75: Barley?
bubba ho tep 75: Hops?
boz48730: you love him, don't you
bubba ho tep 75: Hop On pop
bubba ho tep 75: Yes. I do.
bubba ho tep 75: gnight Cole
boz48730: night malzone
Session Close (bubba ho tep 75): Mon Sep 06 07:55:03 2004


Session Start (AIM - boz48730:bubba ho tep 75): Mon Sep 06 07:55:14 2004
bubba ho tep 75: Fuck all this blog shit and start The Great American Novel so that i have some competition, okay?
bubba ho tep 75: Vader out.
boz48730: yeah right, I'll start on it right after I clean the bird cage
bubba ho tep 75: with my words...
*** bubba ho tep 75 signed off at Mon Sep 06 07:55:54 2004.