Tuesday, September 07, 2004

My Dinner with Belle

Session Start (AIM - boz48730:aSortaPrincess): Sat Sep 04 02:17:59 2004
aSortaPrincess: Hi Boz!
aSortaPrincess: My dad is the anti-sheen!
boz48730: hey belle!
boz48730: yeah, sure
aSortaPrincess: he is
aSortaPrincess: he's 6'7 for starters
boz48730: guess who else had a birthday yesterday?
aSortaPrincess: and he doesn't speak latin
aSortaPrincess: besides dvl?
boz48730: Charlie Sheen!!!
aSortaPrincess: oh no!
aSortaPrincess: I forgot to mail my card!
boz48730: oh yes
aSortaPrincess: i wonder if he solicited any hookers to celebrate
boz48730: send it to heidi's house
aSortaPrincess: isn't she in jail
aSortaPrincess: or dead
boz48730: no, I think she is now a valued member of society
aSortaPrincess: did you see her movie?
aSortaPrincess: it did glorify her, hell even I wanted to be a high priced call girl after watching that
aSortaPrincess: instead of the low priced one that I currently am
boz48730: did it star Tommie Lee Jones and was it directed by Ron Howard?
boz48730: that's the one I watched tonight
aSortaPrincess: no, but I do think HOward the duck had a cameo
boz48730: damn I miss howard the duck
aSortaPrincess: is he dead?
boz48730: I just finished making a very vitriolic post on my blog
aSortaPrincess: hmm, vitriolic even?
boz48730: no, that's river phoenix, I get those two confused all the time
boz48730: you aren't a low priced call girl really are you?
aSortaPrincess: that depends on your definition of low
aSortaPrincess: did you go to vacation bible school?
boz48730: no, I didn't
aSortaPrincess: wow!
aSortaPrincess: I love that post!
boz48730: it felt good
aSortaPrincess: it felt good to read!
aSortaPrincess: it was the feel good post of the year
aSortaPrincess: ask siskel and ebert
aSortaPrincess: even if one of them is dead
boz48730: fucking william carlos williams I hate that bastard
aSortaPrincess: i don't know who that is though
boz48730: he's a poet
boz48730: I don't actually know him either
boz48730: but a lot of poetry lovers read my site
aSortaPrincess: most people with three names are assassins
aSortaPrincess: oh i bet
aSortaPrincess: i kinda feel like reading poetry now
boz48730: slyvia plath used to read it
aSortaPrincess: hahahaha
aSortaPrincess: she probably still does you know
aSortaPrincess: don't believe the hype, she's alive and well
boz48730: yeah, I never bought that story that she was dead
boz48730: she's shacking up with elvis somewhere in the midwest
aSortaPrincess: and tu pac
boz48730: shakur?
aSortaPrincess: isn't he dead?
boz48730: if he isn't he should be
aSortaPrincess: some gangsta rapper they all believe is really alive, i think it's him or Ice-Coffee
aSortaPrincess: i saw a site dedicated to him and it had the date they thought he would resurface
boz48730: who is the one with the hair that looks like pipe cleaners?
aSortaPrincess: snoop
aSortaPrincess: doggy dog
aSortaPrincess: now i want to play with pipe cleaners
boz48730: does anyone really use them to clean pipes?
boz48730: besides popeye
aSortaPrincess: where does one even get pipe cleaners?
aSortaPrincess: i've never seen them sold anywhere
aSortaPrincess: and why do they come in such crazy colors if they are pipe cleaners
boz48730: in the tobacco department of fine stores everywhere
boz48730: and the craft department too
aSortaPrincess: this and other mysteries on the next Montel Williams!
boz48730: I think I have some someplace
aSortaPrincess: i bet you do, you probably have a tupperware devoted to pipe cleaners
boz48730: no, I think they are in a tool box out in the garage
boz48730: don't be poor mouthing my tupperware
aSortaPrincess: i was just stating a fact
aSortaPrincess: touche
aSortaPrincess: have you ever seen the daily show?
boz48730: yeah, I've seen it
boz48730: john stewart is funny
aSortaPrincess: he is like the funniest guy on the planet
boz48730: hey!
aSortaPrincess: i love his coverage of the conventions
boz48730: I used to watch it a lot when craig kilborn was the host and I didn't think john stewart would be any good, but he is ten times better.
aSortaPrincess: oh man, definitely
aSortaPrincess: he has a book coming out too, this month i think, should be a funny read
boz48730: but for the most part I don't watch any tv channels under 200
aSortaPrincess: is the comedy channel under 200?
boz48730: no, it's 50 I think
boz48730: right now my favorite channel is BBC America
boz48730: they have all these whacky home improvement shows
aSortaPrincess: when did they start showing porn?
boz48730: aw man, don't even get me started on premium channel porn!
aSortaPrincess: yeah, they do have great shows like that, i've seen some. alot of new shows are being based on shows from bbc
boz48730: yeah, they are
boz48730: they've got some funny shows too
aSortaPrincess: classics?
boz48730: no, new ones
boz48730: Little Britain, and Trailer Park Boys
aSortaPrincess: hmm, i'll have to check them out then
boz48730: thursday night is their comedy night, but they are on at all hours
boz48730: I like the Black Adder too, too bad he turned into Mr Bean
aSortaPrincess: i don't like mr. bean
aSortaPrincess: it bothers me that everyone does
boz48730: me either, I don't trust people who don't talk
aSortaPrincess: i don't talk
aSortaPrincess: i am mute
boz48730: oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't know!
aSortaPrincess: doctors think it is because of that burn i got on my thigh after i stole and rode mikey's motorcycle
boz48730: what do doctors know?
boz48730: and what kind of parent would let a little kid have a motorcycle?
aSortaPrincess: they know that ferrets give you glandular illnesses.
aSortaPrincess: his parents were total leather wearing bikers
aSortaPrincess: i think they were drug dealers too
aSortaPrincess: i wonder where mikey is today
boz48730: biker babes are hardly babes
aSortaPrincess: the electric bugaloo?
aSortaPrincess: his mom's name was CHER!
boz48730: you're thinking of Mask aren't you
boz48730: oh Rocky you are sooooooo special
aSortaPrincess: hahahha
boz48730: Mom, my head hurts
aSortaPrincess: noooo
aSortaPrincess: that was eric stolz in his finest ever performance
boz48730: not much to compare it with really, he is sort of a poor man's kevin bacon
aSortaPrincess: not even!
aSortaPrincess: eric stolz has a playlist on iTunes
aSortaPrincess: and it has music like
boz48730: sure, haven't you ever heard of six degrees of eric stolz?
boz48730: like ... like ... like ...
aSortaPrincess: bernadette moley and caetano veloso
boz48730: you made those names up
aSortaPrincess: and rufus and chaka khan
aSortaPrincess: no, i wish i had though
boz48730: is Itunes that pay to download site?
aSortaPrincess: i am so naming my third illegitimate child Caetano Velosa
aSortaPrincess: well
aSortaPrincess: it's a media player
aSortaPrincess: like real player or whatever you use
boz48730: oh yeah, I;ve seen it
aSortaPrincess: but it also has a store
aSortaPrincess: and lists celebrity playlists
aSortaPrincess: fun to make fun of
boz48730: I should make a play list
aSortaPrincess: i love it iTunes though, i have all the others and it's the best
aSortaPrincess: you should, so i can make fun of you
aSortaPrincess: put bernadette moley on there
boz48730: would I have to pay?
aSortaPrincess: eric stolz has nothing better to do than make playlists since no one wants to hire him
aSortaPrincess: no
aSortaPrincess: it's free to download
aSortaPrincess: free to use
aSortaPrincess: unless you want to pay for music in the store
boz48730: ok, I just found it
boz48730: I have a radion station already on yahoo
aSortaPrincess: you can make playlists for yourself and then upload them and people can see and rate them
aSortaPrincess: oh yeah, on launchcast?
boz48730: yeah
boz48730: you mean upload them from my own music collection?
aSortaPrincess: no, you don't have to do that, it does everything if iTunes has the songs
boz48730: wow!
boz48730: I've got something I can do this weekend now
aSortaPrincess: woo hooo
boz48730: unless I forget
aSortaPrincess: I am going to do the obligatory familial barbecue thing again
boz48730: the three hour drive thing?
aSortaPrincess: although i burnt the roof of my mouth tonight, i wonder if that gets me out of it?
boz48730: how, were you eating firecrackers again?
aSortaPrincess: it is only an hour and a half away
aSortaPrincess: yeah, i have to cut back on that
boz48730: that would be three hours round trip
aSortaPrincess: and then i cut it with my straw from my iced coffee
aSortaPrincess: well FINE if you're going to get technical
aSortaPrincess: but i will do it for my dad
boz48730: people actually drink ice coffee?
aSortaPrincess: maybe just me
boz48730: you and ricky ricardo
aSortaPrincess: that's not all we have in common
boz48730: oh?
boz48730: you both cheated on lucy?
aSortaPrincess: we both auditioned for cher's love interest in "Mask"
boz48730: but sam elliot beat you out
aSortaPrincess: and we both have restaurants named after us
aSortaPrincess: i put a curse on sam elliott after that
aSortaPrincess: your favorite golden girl was in that movie too you know
aSortaPrincess: god, what a fine cast!!!
boz48730: I know estelle
aSortaPrincess: they should do a reunion!
aSortaPrincess: part deux!
boz48730: and Harry Caray Jr
boz48730: he was a friend of John Wayne and always a had a small part in all of his movies
aSortaPrincess: mask is a john wayne movie?
boz48730: yeah, he was Rocky's father
aSortaPrincess: no he wasn't!
boz48730: ok, John Hurt was his father
boz48730: john hurt - the elephant man
boz48730: hahahahahaha
aSortaPrincess: hahahaha
aSortaPrincess: that's so mean
aSortaPrincess: poor eric stolz
boz48730: yeah, he died so young
aSortaPrincess: i am changing my name legally to sunshine
boz48730: why legally?
aSortaPrincess: tragic really, i think he was killed in a freak ice fishing accident with his pal caetano velosa
aSortaPrincess: well illegally isn't really as fun
boz48730: don't get me started on ice fishing
aSortaPrincess: boz i am obsessed with boggle
aSortaPrincess: please help me
boz48730: I have that game on cd rom
aSortaPrincess: did you get a third degree ice burn once when you went ice fishing with eric stolz?
aSortaPrincess: you should post that are pals with eric stolz
boz48730: no, but someone told me a story once about enemas and ice fishing
aSortaPrincess: i play it online, i can't stop, it's like crack
boz48730: I play cribbage online
aSortaPrincess: cribbage smiggage
boz48730: where do you play boggle at?
aSortaPrincess: enemas and ice fishing, yumm
boz48730: what a way to spend a winter afternoon
boz48730: I used to be pals with eric stolz until I found out he wasn't kevin bacon
aSortaPrincess: hahahaha
aSortaPrincess: did the red fiery hair give it away?
aSortaPrincess: (Link: http://weboggle.shackworks.com/)http://weboggle.shackworks.com/
aSortaPrincess: it is a crappy site really
aSortaPrincess: but it's the only place i found to play it that still works
aSortaPrincess: i used to have the actual game, if i did i would make my cats learn
boz48730: do you play against other people or against the computer, or what?
aSortaPrincess: you play against other people, sort of
aSortaPrincess: it's bizarre, you just play and then they post everyones scores
aSortaPrincess: you don't actually converse with people
boz48730: ok, I know what you mean
aSortaPrincess: i used to play hearts on msn zone or whatever it is and people used to yell at me
aSortaPrincess: so i stopped hahaha
boz48730: I turn off chat when I play cribbage
aSortaPrincess: how do you do that?
aSortaPrincess: you don't talk to the people you are playing with?
boz48730: it's one of the options, I play on pogo.com
boz48730: nope
aSortaPrincess: right, i think iplayed there too
aSortaPrincess: people take it all so seriously
boz48730: what are you supposed to say ... oooh nice hand!
aSortaPrincess: some people are looking for friends, and they get mad if you don't respond
aSortaPrincess: i had the name bellerina because my friend always calls me that and this one lady
boz48730: they have friendship rooms for that, I'm into cutting people off at the knees and laughing as they hobble away
aSortaPrincess: kept asking me if i was a ballerina, and i said no and she got all huffy because she used to be and blah blah blah
boz48730: you mean you aren't a ballerina?
aSortaPrincess: hahhaha
aSortaPrincess: not this week
aSortaPrincess: i wish i was an ice skater though
aSortaPrincess: move over oksana!
boz48730: you'd whack someone behind the knees, if you didn't win
aSortaPrincess: i would
boz48730: it is so farking hot even with the fan on
boz48730: stuffy
aSortaPrincess: but i used to think nancy kerrigan was god's gift
boz48730: humid
boz48730: ewwwwwwwwwww
aSortaPrincess: yes indeed
aSortaPrincess: i was a sick and twisted soul back then
boz48730: what a whiny little bitch
boz48730: whyyyyyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
aSortaPrincess: i made my parents drive me to her hometown for her parade
boz48730: whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
aSortaPrincess: on a school day
aSortaPrincess: hahahahaha
boz48730: just to get out of class I bet
aSortaPrincess: no, i wanted to be there for her!
boz48730: hahahahahaaaaaaaa
boz48730: why?
aSortaPrincess: the picture of eric stolz looks like a dog is licking him
aSortaPrincess: but i think it's just his hair
boz48730: which picture?
aSortaPrincess: because it would be too good if it actually was a dog
aSortaPrincess: the one on his playlist on iTunes
aSortaPrincess: i am mesmerized
aSortaPrincess: it also looks like he is seeing into my soul
boz48730: I wonder if he has vanity plates that read IWuzRocky
aSortaPrincess: no
aSortaPrincess: IAMRocky
boz48730: no sly has that one
aSortaPrincess: i totally bet that whenever eric stolz introduces himself to someone
aSortaPrincess: he says "don't worry, i look weird, but i'm real normal otherwise"
boz48730: poor rocky
boz48730: he's dead you know
boz48730: they have a lot of eric stolz movies on cable
aSortaPrincess: yeah they do
boz48730: he played a parapalegic that was in love with helen hunt in one
aSortaPrincess: i like him in one movie
aSortaPrincess: oh man, i'd poke my eyes out if i had to watch that
boz48730: which one
aSortaPrincess: kicking and screaming
boz48730: and that black guy was in it too
aSortaPrincess: oh THAT black guy
boz48730: the one in white guys can't jump
aSortaPrincess: wesley snipe?
boz48730: damn, what's his name
boz48730: yeah!
boz48730: him
boz48730: he was a parapalegic too
aSortaPrincess: that sounds like someone's nightmare, not a movie
boz48730: and he kept chicken under his bed in the ward
aSortaPrincess: uh huh
aSortaPrincess: he was funny in kicking and screaming
aSortaPrincess: he played a bartender
boz48730: hey, they had a movie on starring one of the other inmates from girl interupted tonight
boz48730: the real skinny slutty one
aSortaPrincess: they were all skinny and slutty weren't they, except whoopi
boz48730: well yeah, but she was skinnier, and sluttier
boz48730: i guess britney kept stealing her chicken
aSortaPrincess: eric stolz played a child molester in The Butterfly Effect, and I totally believed it
aSortaPrincess: which girl?
boz48730: hold on, let me find it
boz48730: Angela Bettis
boz48730: (Link: http://www.tvguide.com/movies/dbpix/images/44326a.jpg)http://www.tvguide.com/movies/dbpix/images/44326a.jpg
aSortaPrincess: hmm
aSortaPrincess: she doesn't stand out to me
boz48730: she was the skinny slutty one in girl interupted
boz48730: hahahaaaaaaaa
boz48730: she didn't talk much
boz48730: (Link: http://imdb.com/gallery/ss/0172493/Ss/0172493/9?path=pgallery&path_key=Bettis,%20Angela)http://imdb.com/gallery/ss/0172493/Ss/0172493/9?path=pgallery&path_key=Bettis,%20Angela
aSortaPrincess: nope, don't know her
aSortaPrincess: mmm ice cream
aSortaPrincess: still don't recall her
boz48730: yeah when whoopi took them to town
boz48730: damn
aSortaPrincess: what was her name on the movie
aSortaPrincess: i wish whoopi would take me to town
boz48730: Janet Webber
boz48730: she has tenth billing
boz48730: even after jared leto
aSortaPrincess: well then she couldn't have been a major player
aSortaPrincess: you remember her?
boz48730: hahaha, it says here that Claire Danes auditioned Angelina Jolie's part
boz48730: yeah, I did
boz48730: I've based my life on girl interupted
aSortaPrincess: loosely?
aSortaPrincess: claire danes?
boz48730: yeah
aSortaPrincess: you know what movie has been on like every five minutes lately
aSortaPrincess: molly
boz48730: oh god
aSortaPrincess: did elisabeth she die?
aSortaPrincess: it's on nonstop
boz48730: her career peaked with adventures in babysitting
aSortaPrincess: i based my life on adventures in babysitting
aSortaPrincess: wasn't eric stolz in that
aSortaPrincess: no that was his brother
boz48730: she probably thought she'd get an oscar for molly since she played a tard
aSortaPrincess: she probably would have if she hadn't tried to sleep with her brother
aSortaPrincess: the academy frowns on incest among tards
boz48730: so that's why desi arnaz jr has never won an oscar!
boz48730: there is a woman on buzznet who is stalking me
aSortaPrincess: does she think that you are the other boz?
boz48730: she might
boz48730: she comments on all the pics I post
aSortaPrincess: what is her name
aSortaPrincess: belle?
boz48730: (censored)
aSortaPrincess: what the hell kind of name is that
boz48730: a stalkerish one
boz48730: I must attract stalkers
aSortaPrincess: i'm going to stalk her now
aSortaPrincess: well not now
aSortaPrincess: but when it's less conspicuous
aSortaPrincess: and i'll drop your name around
boz48730: oh thanks
boz48730: there's enough good stuff in this chat for 100 posts
aSortaPrincess: god bless you eric stolz
boz48730: god love him
boz48730: I'm going to bed
boz48730: you evil person kept me up too late
aSortaPrincess: i am a bad influence
boz48730: I missed the last showing of Molly for the night
aSortaPrincess: don't worry, it will be on in the morning
aSortaPrincess: sweet sweet dreams of rocky and cher, boz
boz48730: ok
boz48730: you too bellerina
aSortaPrincess: night!
boz48730: night


At 5:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

boz! posting a conversation about eric stolz and my secret love of nancy kerrigan?
is NOTHING sacred??

At 2:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's such a good feeling reading your empty meaningless mean spirited blather, it makes me realize how great my own life is.

How much time do you spend on this drivel?

At 3:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You da shit!

Okay, I'll admit it, I've always had a slight crush on |Eric Stoltz, especially in Pulp Fiction (how sick am I!) and I always thought him a little classier and better than Kevin Bacon- but this i-tunes list really got me going. First I was jealous as all hell then I bought it, and it was pretty good, then I was pissed at myself for buying it and liking it. Funny how consumerism messes with yo head.
Anyway, I have a friend who works for Apple and I asked him to find out the inside skivvy on the whole 'celebrity playlist' thing, and here's what he knows;
they don't get paid for it
they get asked by someone high up, who thinks they have a 'position in the culture, well known or not'
they don't get any gifts or anything
so it's not really rewarded in anyway, other than, I guess, people like us going on about it.

Kevin Bacon has one too! But he has a band that he sings in, which I think makes him worthy of an entire dinner with you.



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