Thursday, December 30, 2004

My dinner with TP

Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i had a genius thought
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
the guy from hangin' with mr. cooper
boz says:
anoher one?
boz says:
hmmm, not bad, I was thinking Steve Harvey too
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
no, not steve harvey
boz says:
why not?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i don't like him
boz says:
I don't like that other guy
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
FINE!!!
boz says:
malcolm jamal warner is still the front runner
boz says:
this is shaping up like an Oz for juvenille offenders
boz says:
I just sneezed
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
bless you, child
boz says:
wanna shake hands?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
everytime a boz sneezes, an angel gets its wings
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
no
boz says:
I sneeze quite a bit
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i really want to open this present
boz says:
what present?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
but it says on the card not to open until b-day
boz says:
when is your bday?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
soon
boz says:
what date?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i'm not sure
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
you mean the actual date i was born on or the date my two japanese uncles throw me a party each year?
boz says:
you know, I have always felt Conception Day should be celebrated instead of Birthday
boz says:
actual date
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
no one really knows my birthday since i was adopted
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
every year we make it up
boz says:
I never know when to believe you
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
FINE!!!
boz says:
my niece was adopted, the one who named all her sons the same first namem her birthday is the first part of january
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
maybe i am her then
boz says:
do you have any mulatto children?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i have a feeling my birthday is really soon
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
no, but i do like gelatto
boz says:
is that like ghetto ice cream?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
do you have to bring up the ghetto? that's where my biological parents left me
boz says:
my niece thinks that her biological grandfather was a famous doctor
boz says:
Dr Scholl
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
she's probably right
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
i've heard he had a lot of bastard children
boz says:
actually she was born in Georgia, she might be Marci's illegitimate sister
boz says:
wait, marci wasn't born in Georgia
boz says:
I think Marci died
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
marci did not die
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
she at least was alive around christmas
boz says:
she's gotten too good for us.
boz says:
if lavar burton showed up at your condo door, would you let him in?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
is this a trick question?
Tia and Tamara's Fan Club President says:
he's here right now
boz says:
did you let him in?
Belle says:
yes, that's the only way he could come in, if he was invited, like vampires
boz says:
or jehovah witnesses
Belle says:
jehovah witnesses ARE vampires
Belle says:
if star jones showed up at your door, would you let her in?
boz says:
they are so much more than vampires
boz says:
is merideth vieria with her?
Belle says:
no, she's alone, she was driving through east taiwan to pick up a refugee child and her car broke down in front of your house
boz says:
would I have to sex her?
Belle says:
you just have to say if you would let her ini
Belle says:
you're already planning out how to sex star jones up
boz says:
I'm not paying for her wedding!
Belle says:
she's already married
Belle says:
now, yes or no?
boz says:
is she wearing Payless shoes from the Star Jones collection?
Belle says:
yes
boz says:
pumps, mules, or wedgies?
Belle says:
pumps that are several sizes too small for her chubby feet
boz says:
ooooooooh, like your dad wears
Belle says:
no, my dad wears pumps that fit
Belle says:
yes or noooo?
boz says:
are you sure meredith veiria isn't with her?
Belle says:
yes, unless her limp, lifeless body is stuffed in either star jones' trunk or pumps
boz says:
or stomach
Belle says:
aaaaggghhhh
Belle says:
star jones ate meredith vierra!
boz says:
oh the humanity!
Belle says:
if you let her in she might eat you and mother boz
Belle says:
so yes or no
boz says:
no
boz says:
that was a tough one
Belle says:
since you didn't invite her in, she calls meredith viera from your neighbor's house and meredith comes over and has sex with the neighbor out of gratitude for helping star
boz says:
which neighbor?
Belle says:
all of them
boz says:
slut!
Belle says:
that could have been you
boz says:
thank god I kept my wits about me
boz says:
have you written that post yet?
Belle says:
mentally
boz says:
that's a start
Belle says:
listen
boz says:
I hate having to do mental things
Belle says:
would you rather have a sinus infection where anytime you sneeze while in the presence of others, they change sex
Belle says:
or
Belle says:
have the inability to distinguish btwn babies and english muffins
boz says:
sinus infection
boz says:
I already have the inability to distinguish between babies and english muffins
Belle says:
yummy, buttery babies
boz says:
just don't invite me to breakfast
Belle says:
would you rather have to sleep each night btwn a mattress and a box spring
Belle says:
or
Belle says:
be allowed to listen to only one musical piece the rest of your life - "funkytown" by Lipps, inc
boz says:
is the word between so hard to type?
Belle says:
why are you so disturbed with that
Belle says:
first it's my ahahahahaha
Belle says:
i can never please you!!!!
boz says:
matress and box springs
boz says:
fine, I make one little comment about your ahahahaha, and I can never live it down
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
if siskel and ebert both showed up at your door and you could only invite one in, which one would you invite in?
boz says:
the dead one
Belle says:
excellent
boz says:
he'd eat less
boz says:
I saw a Randy Quaid movie today
Belle says:
wow!
Belle says:
that's amazing!!!!
boz says:
he played an evil sheriff
boz says:
don't paronize me
boz says:
patronize even
boz says:
I'll edit that out in the final copy
Belle says:
oh sure, edit out your stuff
Belle says:
what was the evil randy quaid movie?
Belle says:
the other day i saw part of Daddy Day Care
boz says:
hey, it's called Dinner with BOZ, I have to look out for my best interests
Belle says:
it was really, really moving
boz says:
is that with eddie murphy?
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
it was touching
boz says:
he sucks so bad
Belle says:
yeah
Belle says:
hurts so good though
Belle says:
WWJCMD
boz says:
WWJMVD
Belle says:
jmv?
boz says:
jan michael vincent
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
probably do another line
boz says:
tony pierce is going to be so jealous of us
boz says:
hahahaha WWTPD?
Belle says:
we should make that our motto
Belle says:
forget john cougar mellencamp
boz says:
yes, we should
boz says:
but never identity who TP is
Belle says:
or he'll have us assassinated
boz says:
or have or blogging privledges revoked
boz says:
our
Belle says:
bhw would come after us, shooting bullets out of her breasts
boz says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I'm not editing that out
Belle says:
you have to
boz says:
no, it is time your mean spiritedness was laid bare for all to see
boz says:
http://spudhead.buzznet.com/user/?id=761242
Belle says:

Belle says:
i wish i had an aura
Belle says:
like i glowed
Belle says:
people would always be able to find me in a crowd
boz says:
only chicks with names like bambi or sunshine have aura's
Belle says:
sunshine!
Belle says:
i'll change my name
boz says:
I am going to end every post I make for the next week with WWTPD
Belle says:
that's awesome
Belle says:
me too
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I just zonkboarded it
Belle says:
i'm going to end every thought i have with WWTPD
boz says:
my next door neighbor when I was a teenager named her daughter Angel
Belle says:
my roomate in college was named Angel
Belle says:
and she really was
Belle says:
she used the rhythm method and everything
boz says:
was she the first one on your killing spree?
Belle says:
yes, but many, many followed
Belle says:
she put a picture of JESUS right above my bed while i was sleeping
boz says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
she kept telling me when i had guys over that i was going to a lower level of heaven
boz says:
hahahaha
boz says:
is that some kind of sexual code word?
Belle says:
heaven?
boz says:
how would you like a little lower level of heaven tonight?
Belle says:
hahahah
boz says:
tony pierce would never come up with a comedy gem like that
Belle says:
WWTPD!!!
boz says:
room mates, gotta love 'em
Belle says:
or not, she was a total nut job, my friends used to try to freak her out
Belle says:
like one friend came over and said something about being pregnant and not knowing who the father was, i thought Angel would have a coronary
boz says:
I had a born again christian for a roommate when I was stationed in crete
boz says:
hahaha
Belle says:
Angel actually asked me to be her maid of honor when she got married
Belle says:
then demoted me
boz says:
http://skirt.buzznet.com/user/
boz says:
the bitch
Belle says:
she probably married your born again
boz says:
my born again, lusted after the wife of his best friend then tried to kill himself by walking out into the mediterranean sea
Belle says:
excellent!!
Belle says:
i'll have to try that one
Belle says:
and you really are a little too fascinated with dressing in women's clothing
boz says:
then he got transferred to Athens
Belle says:
i bet tony pierce has never had a crazy roommate
Belle says:
i'm hungry
boz says:
I also had a roommate named Snuffy
Belle says:
beedy, beedy, beedy
boz says:
who kept an eight by ten pic of his parenst on his nightstand and I swear they looked like brother and sister
Belle says:
my brother has an eight by ten of my mother on his nightstand! that is so weird!! who does that??
Belle says:
they probably were brother and sister though
boz says:
Snuffy and your brother
Belle says:
i just think that is odd
Belle says:
and i was telling my dad this
Belle says:
and i said exactly that, i said who does that!! and he said "what, you don't have a picture of me?? i have one of you!"
Belle says:
and he really does, ahhahaha
boz says:
this is your dad, right, not your bad touch uncle?
Belle says:
both probably
Belle says:
i just have an eight by ten of TP
boz says:
all I have is a wallet size
boz says:
but then he has always favored the ladies
Belle says:
does kevynn malone really like him?
boz says:
yeah, he's linked him, and told everyone to buy his book
Belle says:
you think you know someone!!
boz says:
k'lone likes all the popular bloggers
boz says:
zil zheaton included
boz says:
wheb you say know you mean stalk, don't you?
Belle says:
well yeah
boz says:
I should link him
Belle says:
well i thin
Belle says:
k
Belle says:
you have to send him a picture of your breasts first
Belle says:
that's the appropriate way of going about it
boz says:
if I shaved my chest they'd be bigger than bhw's
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
not that you measured or anything
boz says:
of course I've measured
boz says:
but I've never understood the whole cup size thing
Belle says:
what's not to understand?
Belle says:
i hate when i go in victoria's secret or something and they accost me with the measuring tape
boz says:
bah, that's the only reason you go into victoria secrets!
Belle says:
they are always like "free measurments!!!" and i say no thanks, but they do it anyway!
boz says:
I'm going to have to start hanging around victoria secrets and try the free measurement scam!
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
WWTPD
boz says:
will I need a tape measure?
Belle says:
yeah, i think so
Belle says:
and a measuring cup
boz says:
and I should be inside the store, right?
Belle says:
or lurking near the restrooms
boz says:
you say lurking like it's a bad thing
boz says:
how do you think I got a date to the prom?
Belle says:
ebay
Belle says:
or
Belle says:
www.imaginarygirlfriends.com
boz says:
actually I paid my cousin fifty bucks
boz says:
he wasn't worth it though
boz says:
it worries me that you had a link to this so handy
Belle says:
hahaha
Belle says:
a little side job
boz says:
I need to find a pic of TP to use for my icon in here
boz says:
identity theft!!!!
Belle says:
you should steal his blog
Belle says:
what's the address?
Belle says:
or do tp.blogspot.com/ and just copy all his posts
Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
that would work
Belle says:
you should hire her
Belle says:
http://www.imaginarygirlfriends.com/browse_karinna.php
boz says:
http://tony.buzznet.com/user/
boz says:
tada!
Belle says:
you should shave your head
Belle says:
tada what?
boz says:
tada, I am now TP
boz says:
if I shaved my head I'd look like a giant light bulb
Belle says:
how are you now TP?
Belle says:
Ohhhhh
Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
I have his icon up
Belle says:
i didn't see it and thought you were having delusions of grandeur again
Belle says:
that's awesome
boz says:
one day we will rule the internet
Belle says:
TP and levar?
boz says:
hey, bhw sent me a picture of her boobs too, the full monty!
Belle says:
i know
Belle says:
in the shower or something
boz says:
yeah, I think so
Belle says:
or was taht the one she sent me
Belle says:
she told me anyway
boz says:
not that it's my wallpaper or anything
Belle says:
she thought it might be
boz says:
i wish that anonymous commenter would leave some more comments on dinner with boz
boz says:
the one who thought we had no lives
Belle says:
who??
boz says:
if I knew "who" would I call him anonymous?
Belle says:
well you said HIM
Belle says:
when was that
boz says:
one of the first posts
Belle says:
oh, yeah, maybe i remember
Belle says:
he'll be the first one to buy the book
Belle says:
it was probably TP afraid we'd corner the market
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I was going to say that
Belle says:
i was looking through his pics, trying to figure out why the ladies flock to him
boz says:
http://chatwars.blogspot.com/2004/09/my-dinner-with-belle.html
boz says:
cause they can't have me
boz says:
wow, I didn't see that third comment!
Belle says:
haha
Belle says:
want some pie?
boz says:
what?
Belle says:
pie?
boz says:
I know what you said, but why did you say it?
Belle says:
because i'm eating pie
boz says:
oh, no thanks, I had cheesecake earlier
Belle says:
mmmm pumpkin pie
boz says:
french vanilla cool whip?
Belle says:
no, whip cream from the can
Belle says:
my parents send me home with so much food
boz says:
from the bathroom?
boz says:
arghhhhhhhhhhhh
Belle says:
TP wouldn't say things like that
Belle says:
so we have on fan
Belle says:
one
boz says:
well that was a long time ago, I think it might have been bhw's friend becky
Belle says:
someone who talks a lot
Belle says:
it could be amyjo
boz says:
yeah, maybejo
boz says:
but she would never buy a playlist
boz says:
becky did leave a comment on another post
Belle says:
that doesnt' really sound like becky though
Belle says:
she emails me
boz says:
email her back and ask her
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
i don't think it's her
boz says:
WWTPD
Belle says:
and i might sound obsessive
Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
it might be one of my gay admirers
Belle says:
the other boz
Belle says:
or brian bonsall
Belle says:
my admirers can't write
boz says:
you know how malone and I got to know each other don't you?
Belle says:
you met at a NAMBLA meeting?
boz says:
we were both linked on this gay guy's blog and I guess malone followed the link to my blog
boz says:
tony baloney from Atlanta Ga.
Belle says:
interesting
Belle says:
sometimes i think there are cameras in everyday objects
Belle says:
and someone is taping me
Belle says:
so i smile
boz says:
it couldn't hurt
Belle says:
for a long time i was convinced there was a camera in zob
boz says:
ummm, hahaha, camera in zob, hahahaha, that's ridiculous!
boz says:
http://scruffneck.blogspot.com/
Belle says:
seriously, i would turn him around to get changed and everything
boz says:
I know
boz says:
it was very frustrating
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
now i think it's in that hallmark snowman and puppy
boz says:
that's just silly
Belle says:
oh
Belle says:
well then
boz says:
did you go back and buy another one for half price after xmas?
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
i'm not retarded
boz says:
or one step away from being
boz says:
I think I am going to make a casting call announcement on the grand ennui for the facts of life 2005
boz says:
TP and I could pass for brothers
boz says:
http://boz48730.buzznet.com/user/?id=750494
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
I think i'm going to bed
Belle says:
too much TP for me
boz says:
don't turn zob around tonight, ok?
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
gooodniiiiiiiiight
boz says:
night
boz says:
WWTPD!!!!!
Belle says:
and remember, always ask yourself WWTPD
Belle says:
damn you!!!
boz says:
ha
Belle says:
nighters
boz says:
night

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

My dinner with Tootie

Belle says:
yes?
Belle says:
fine what?
boz says:
you deserted me in my hour of need again
Belle says:
oh no, did you break out the razor blades again and start cutting?
boz says:
ooh, good touch,
boz says:
oh, yeah, I have a question for you
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
i'm not a hermaphrodite
Belle says:
and i already have a prom date
boz says:
those were questions number 9 and 10
Belle says:
ok then shoot
boz says:
did you buy the spy cam or punk out?
Belle says:
they didn't have it actually
Belle says:
so i guess i punked out
boz says:
what did you get instead?
Belle says:
they had like nothing, damn those walmart folks!
Belle says:
umm
Belle says:
i'm trying to remember
Belle says:
oh
boz says:
a cheese wheel?
Belle says:
walkie talkies
Belle says:
and a walmart gift card for the other swap gift
boz says:
twoswap gifts?
Belle says:
yeah, kind of crazy
Belle says:
i wanted the walkie talkies myself, but my aunt stole them from me in the swap
boz says:
I think you should have demanded that they search the warehouse for the spycam
boz says:
who would be the walkie while you were the talkie?
Belle says:
my neighbor maybe hahahaha
boz says:
did you father like the lamp?
Belle says:
or i would have strapped one to emilio and one to charlie
Belle says:
either way, it would have been fun, but noooo, do you know what i got, a crappy blanket, and a crappy pine cone thing
Belle says:
oh yeah, i'm his favorite daughter now he said
Belle says:
he was soo cute, too, he made us turn off all the lights so he could see it
boz says:
is that counting his illegitimate daughters?
Belle says:
which is just what the guy does in the movie!
Belle says:
yes, even the german one
Belle says:
who could be sandra
boz says:
you just want to be related to Jonnie
Belle says:
oh yeah, i've been wishing that since birth
Belle says:
one of my brothers is named Johnny
boz says:
they should have named all your brothers Johnny
Belle says:
they should
boz says:
my niece named her three sons Darian
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
i'm going to do that
Belle says:
with the three chinese babies i adopt
boz says:
how come they only do that to boys, how come no one ever names all their daughters the same name
Belle says:
levar jr, levar II, levar III
Belle says:
they do!!!
Belle says:
i know a girl named kat who is really named katherine whose mother is named katherine
Belle says:
i thought it was weird, but maybe it's a canada thing
boz says:
no, I meant all their daughters, not daughter named after their mother, that's normal, my eldest sister is named after my mother.
Belle says:
that isn't normal
Belle says:
why? i don't get it
boz says:
they have different middle names though
Belle says:
i don't
Belle says:
get
Belle says:
it
boz says:
it doesn't matter it was a rhetorical question anyway
Belle says:
FINE
Belle says:
be that way
Belle says:
put mother boz on
Belle says:
i'll ask her
boz says:
which mother boz, my sister or my mother?
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
exactly
Belle says:
put them both on
Belle says:
i bet you were confused as a child
boz says:
I would but there is the little matter of the restraining order
boz says:
funny you should mention my confusion as a child ...
boz says:
I used to call my sister "little mommy"
boz says:
she's nine years older than me
Belle says:
one of my brothers is nine years older than me and i called him little hitler, not little daddy
boz says:
is his real name elvis costello?
Belle says:
no
boz says:
little hitler= song by elvis costello
Belle says:
you don't say!
Belle says:
did mother boz sr. like her udder cream?
boz says:
guess what belle, when you go to sleep at night your pine cone thing comes to life
Belle says:
noooooooooooo
Belle says:
damn that pine cone thing
Belle says:
it plugs in
boz says:
yeah, she did like the moo cream
Belle says:
what kind of pine cone thing plugs in
Belle says:
and who gives this crap as a swap gift
boz says:
pine cone thing reeks of homemade gift
Belle says:
oh it definitely was
Belle says:
$25, sure!!!
Belle says:
next year i'm making all my gifts
boz says:
out of hair balls
Belle says:
and pine cones!
boz says:
and glitter!!!!
Belle says:
how did you know glitter was involved??
Belle says:
even emilio and charlie are disturbed by the pine cone thing
Belle says:
they keep knocking it over
boz says:
isn't it always?
Belle says:
and glitter is all over my carpet
boz says:
you'll vacuuming glitter till june
boz says:
thiat is if you vacuum before june
Belle says:
highly unlikely
Belle says:
which will make june fun!
boz says:
put it in the bathroom on top of the toilet
Belle says:
no!
Belle says:
that's where they had one at my brother's house
Belle says:
and i was like wtf is that pine cone thing
Belle says:
then next thing i know i'm getting one of my very own!
boz says:
who was the one who gave the pine cone thing?
Belle says:
my brother's fiance
Belle says:
bitch!
boz says:
typical
Belle says:
once i had that of course no one wanted to trade with me
boz says:
how did this trading thing work?
Belle says:
well you pick a number
Belle says:
and then every person after the first person can choose to swap with someone who went before them if they want
Belle says:
and then at the end the first person gets the pick of the litter
boz says:
sounds kind of complicated. do they know what the gift is before they swap?
Belle says:
and then we light the last person on fire and pray
Belle says:
yes, you get to open the gifts
boz says:
and then swap?
Belle says:
yes, if you want something that someone who went before you had
boz says:
was this your brother's fiance's idea?
Belle says:
hahaha, no, sadly, we've done this for ever
Belle says:
but i'm going to suggest we stop now that she's participating
boz says:
your brother is going to expect her to make all the xmas gifts next year
boz says:
and I bet she got really good things
Belle says:
hmm, i can't remember
Belle says:
i've tried to block the whole thing out
Belle says:
but really, what wouldn't have been better than that pine cone thing
boz says:
a xmas craft thing made out of toilet paper rolls
Belle says:
one funny thing was
Belle says:
the walmart gift card i got i put inside a stuffed puppet
Belle says:
and my weird uncle dick (not the one that gives me the bad touch though) thought the puppet was the gift and was like 'oh that's nice, i'll keep this one'
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I wonder what he'll get with the gift card?
Belle says:
another puppet
Belle says:
all he wanted was the puppet
boz says:
you should have slid the card out while no one was looking
Belle says:
i should have, and said i made the puppet
Belle says:
i think i will light the pine cone thing on fire and use it to burn down my house, then won't my brother's fiance feel bad
boz says:
and the finance would have said, do you have the plans for that?
boz says:
i got a walmart gift card for xmas too
Belle says:
yes, i saw that
Belle says:
i didn't
Belle says:
what are you going to buy?
Belle says:
i did get a credit card though
boz says:
t shirts probably
boz says:
credit or debit?
Belle says:
you should buy glitter and construction paper
Belle says:
credit
boz says:
wow, any limit?
Belle says:
no limit!~
boz says:
and pipe cleaners and a hot glue gun
Belle says:
no, never mind, i wont' tell any camp stories
boz says:
you have a story about a hot glue gun?
Belle says:
my step mother has a hot glue gun
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
pipe cleaners
boz says:
I think you told me a camp story before
Belle says:
did it involve armed guards and wil wheaton?
boz says:
yes, and pipe cleaners
boz says:
oh man, I bought the best tasting tums yesterday!
Belle says:
which ones?
Belle says:
were they smooth dissolve
boz says:
they are a store brand and they are berry flavored
Belle says:
what colors
boz says:
dark colors
Belle says:
i've never had berry, i bet it's good
boz says:
you can almost get high by opening the bottle and sniffing
Belle says:
woooo hooo
Belle says:
so imagine what happens when you crush them up and put them on a spoon and burn it
boz says:
they taste more like candy than antacids
Belle says:
nice! i'm gonna look for some
boz says:
assorted berries
boz says:
I got these from the dollar general, but I'm sure they copied it from Tums
Belle says:
most likely
Belle says:
all the cool kids copy Tums
boz says:
96 for $2.00
boz says:
I used to be addicted to Rolaids
Belle says:
i've never had rolaids
Belle says:
do they really spell relief
boz says:
no
Belle says:
did you know joy behar hosts who wants to be a millionaire??
boz says:
I thought it was the other one
Belle says:
oh, well whatever
Belle says:
one of them, they're all obnoxious
boz says:
meredith vierra
Belle says:
yeah, yeah, her
Belle says:
i didn't know that
boz says:
yeah, the syndicated version
Belle says:
i saw it the other day and this guy's first question was
boz says:
I've never watched either her or regis
Belle says:
"complete the language rule helper 'i before E except after blank'
Belle says:
and the guy
Belle says:
had to ask the audience
boz says:
after lunch
boz says:
???
Belle says:
i mean, come on!!!
boz says:
did meredith know the answer?
Belle says:
yes, she is fed the answers with a spoon
Belle says:
by regil philbin
boz says:
and a needle?
Belle says:
i would have puked if the audience got it wrong
Belle says:
but luckily 95% knew it
boz says:
in your hands?
Belle says:
yes, absolutely, because i was sitting on my bed
boz says:
the 5% who didn't know it were probably related to the contestabt
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
seriously, that disturbed me
Belle says:
i didn't dare watch it any longer because that was the EASY question and he got it wrong
Belle says:
i want to find out his name and address and taunt him
boz says:
what were the four choices?
Belle says:
they were all letters, c, d, a, o or something
Belle says:
well not c
Belle says:
i dont' remember!
Belle says:
yes c
Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
call a friend and find out
Belle says:
i'm losing my mind
Belle says:
i blame you
boz says:
sure, why not, I have broad shoulders
Belle says:
the next question was probably who is the president of the united states and he had to call a friend
Belle says:
he doesn't have any friends!
boz says:
hey, you know what?
Belle says:
no
boz says:
when we get about 50 more "dinners with boz" we are going to make it into a book
Belle says:
a book no one will buy?
boz says:
we'll buy it
boz says:
I'm serious, you can do this on Cafe Press
Belle says:
the proceeds will go to dumb game show contestants
boz says:
some guy with a blog did a book on how to blog and people are buying it by the tens
Belle says:
no way
Belle says:
how to blog?
Belle says:
by wil wheaton?
boz says:
yeah, have you heard of tony pierce?
Belle says:
oh god, really?
boz says:
yeah
Belle says:
interesting
boz says:
malone wants everyone to buy it
Belle says:
really??
boz says:
yeah, and it's just old blog posts
Belle says:
oh it is?
Belle says:
then how is it "how to blog"?
boz says:
ummm, because he is the master of blogging, I guess
boz says:
do what he does
boz says:
but seriously, by the time we get 50 more dinner with boz's we will be so famous they will be lining up to buy our book
boz says:
we can have lavar levar burton write the introduction
Belle says:
Hmmph
boz says:
http://www.cafepress.com/cp/info/sell/books.aspx
Belle says:
i don't have tony pierce's fan base
boz says:
yeah, but we are slowly building up our fan base
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
it's at two right now
Belle says:
stop, it hurts when i laugh
Belle says:
maybe if i could get my phone sex customers to buy it, that must be what tony pierce is doing
Belle says:
and you could have it go on sale at dollar general
boz says:
ask him the next time he calls for a quickie
Belle says:
like packaged with a bottle of fake tums
Belle says:
buy fake tums get this book FREE!!!
Belle says:
i have a reputation to uphold
boz says:
yeah, after your dinner with boz you'll really need fake tums
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I won't be able to sleep tonight going over all the possibilities
Belle says:
possibilities??
Belle says:
like a movie deal??!!!
boz says:
marketing, yeah movie deal!!!
Belle says:
nancy mckeon might be available!
boz says:
might be? that's like saying the pope might be catholic
Belle says:
well don't tell anyone, but i did hear the pope might be methodist
Belle says:
maybe nancy will be busy filming tony pierce's movie
Belle says:
or wil wheaton's
boz says:
my dinner with boz starring a lifetime movie of the week starring nancy mckeon and liam neeson
boz says:
samuel l. jackson?
boz says:
fred savage?
Belle says:
C. Thomas Howell!!
Belle says:
if he's alive
boz says:
I saw fred savage in a movie tonight
Belle says:
my parents were watching that stupid movie, Mooseport on Christmas night, and he's in that
boz says:
yeah, that's it
Belle says:
my dad kept saying "there's your bud, fred savage!"
Belle says:
and insisting i had a crush on him when i was younger
boz says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
i so didn't
boz says:
yeah, it was his brother that you had a crush on
Belle says:
no, i told him it was paul
boz says:
wasn't he killed in vietnam?
boz says:
or woodstock?
Belle says:
no, that was winnie's brother
boz says:
oh yeah, back when winnie still wore glasses
Belle says:
before she had her britney spears/lindsay lohan growth spurt
boz says:
she didn't spurt in the same places they did, only her face got bigger
Belle says:
hahaha
Belle says:
well that was pre-plastic surgery
boz says:
not that I know who britney spears or lindsey lohan are
boz says:
you know what they should do?
boz says:
They should make a male version of Facts of Life
Belle says:
with mrs. garrett? or a male?
Belle says:
maybe mr. belvedere could do it
boz says:
I think it should be a mr garrett
Belle says:
if you think about it
Belle says:
they could all keep the same names, they are unisex
Belle says:
jo
Belle says:
blair
Belle says:
tootie
Belle says:
natalie
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
and ed-na
boz says:
they called her nat
Belle says:
well there you go
Belle says:
i think this is a winner
Belle says:
you should pitch this to the network
boz says:
or nambla
Belle says:
i'll be your partner since i came up with the name idea
Belle says:
nat DID have a weird relationship with that little boy
Belle says:
put your power suit on
Belle says:
we're going to hollywood!!!
boz says:
my favorite episode was where tootie didn't become a hooker
Belle says:
wasn't that every episode?
Belle says:
she did have a bastard child in the reunion
boz says:
it was jermaine jackson's wasn't it?
Belle says:
levar burton's!
boz says:
a mute bastard child, how tragic
Belle says:
quality programming though
boz says:
I can see Lifetime, WE and Oxygen battling it out for the rights
Belle says:
there is a fortune to be made here
boz says:
I've already forgot our premise.
Belle says:
ok, you work on that, i'm going to get coffee and search for the new face of Tootie
boz says:
fine!!!
Belle says:
i'll check back in with you!!!
Belle says:
don't start with the self mutilation again

Belle says:
not that anyone reads this
boz says:
they will eventually,
boz says:
it will be the feel good book of the summer
Belle says:
ok please edit the remark about her breasts then
boz says:
ok
Belle says:
i don't want to piss anyone off
boz says:
I'll change breasts to something else
Belle says:
noooo
Belle says:
change everything to something else
boz says:
fine!
Belle says:
her name, boobies, the book, change it all
boz says:
I'm leaving the part about nancy mckeon having my babies in though!!!
Belle says:
i must have missed that part... sure, boz, sure
boz says:
oh wait, that was last night's dream
Belle says:
i'm glad you started having hetero dreams
boz says:
go get you coffee and find the new Tootie!
Belle says:
ok, later
boz says:
later

Monday, December 20, 2004

My dinner with Winnie Cooper

Belle says
so you're finally going in for that electro shock therapy
boz says
yeah, if it works on me they're going to try it on monkeys next
Belle says
that explains the will benefit mankind for decades to come part
boz says
that was sort of a planet of the apes reference
Belle says
you know, i never saw planet of the apes
Belle says
either one
boz says
did you know there was also a planet of the apes television series
Belle says
no, was it on after or before the fast times at ridgemont high television series
boz says
before
Belle says
was eric stolz in it
boz says
yeah, he played the part kevin bacon played in the movie
Belle says
no, mark wahlberg
boz says
no, that was the part david faustino played
boz says
oooh, do you remember the movie Paper Moon
boz says
with tatum and her dad
Belle says
that isn't the one with reese witherspoon and the boy getting ran over by the tractor, is it
boz says
oh, that movie was so tragic
boz says
different movie though
Belle says
no, don't know it
Belle says
i lead a sheltered life
boz says
it was directed by peter bogdonavich, one of his two or three movies that made money, tatum even won an oscar for it ... anyway, they made that in to a tv series and guess who played tatum o'neal's part
boz says
guess!!!!
Belle says
jodie foster
boz says
dammit, I hate it when you are right
Belle says
which is all the time, must be tough
boz says
by the way, did you ever rent those two movies I told you about
Belle says
i would have been more impressed if Kristy McNichol had played it
Belle says
i rented Little Darlings, but I forgot the other ones
boz says
foxes
boz says
with jodie foster and randy quaid
Belle says
best onscreen duo ever
boz says
and scott baio
Belle says
i have to rent that one, i'm writing it down
Belle says
in BLOOD
Belle says
on my neighbor's door
boz says
your blood
boz says
helter skelter
Belle says
hahahaha
boz says
see, you know the manson references
Belle says
i admit to nothing
boz says
your nickname isn't squeaky, is it
Belle says
my friends call me Ferris
boz says
i thought they called you big head girl
Belle says
did you ever see that hotel new hampshire
boz says
yeah, i did, it pretty much sucked
boz says
the book was way better
Belle says
with the incest
Belle says
you read the book
boz says
yeah, rob and jodie
Belle says
but no rob lowe in the book!
boz says
talk about sexual chemistry
Belle says
it made me wish my name was Franny
boz says
I've read a number of John Irving novels, even before they were made into bad movies
boz says
like in Dreschler
Belle says
he did that widow one too
Belle says
i feel deja vu
boz says
I've read Hotel New Hampshire, The World According to Garp, and Cider House Rules
Belle says
did you know they had The Nanny reunion special, i think it was last week hahaha
boz says
a lot of incest in his books
Belle says
i bet millions tuned in for that
Belle says
yeah, for real on the incest, me thinks he has issues
Belle says
his sister is probably vc andrews
boz says
or julie andrews
boz says
was there incest on the Nanny re-union
Belle says
i'll have to get back to you after i watch my solid gold video tape of it
boz says
or manboy love
Belle says
yeah, fran drescher and the guy with the accent, that's manboy love
boz says
i was thinking about the butler
boz says
of course I think about him alot
Belle says
wow you know a lot about this show, i didn't know they had a butler
Belle says
he's probably the guy from your male prostitute dreams
boz says
he haunts my every waking moment
Belle says
i hear they make drugs for that sort of thing now
boz says
sorry, no drugs for me, I'm fasting
boz says
I feel so ghandi-like
Belle says
so you don't want one of these brownies i brought home from the christmas party
Belle says
they are frosted
boz says
are they laced with lsd
Belle says
with cocaine
Belle says
better than lsd, less paranoid delusions
boz says
when was your xmas party
Belle says
tonight
Belle says
today
Belle says
it was toooooooooooooooooo long
boz says
at the hospital
Belle says
i actually fell asleep multiple times while people were talking to me
Belle says
no, it was held at gigi's house
boz says
get out!
Belle says
nope
Belle says
it was
boz says
she must have a big house
Belle says
she does, she has a sugar daddy
boz says
a doctor
boz says
john irving
boz says
scot baio
Belle says
no, i believe he is a lawyer, but i could be wrong, he could be something else, like a writer for tv guide or that guy who wrote fire and rain whose name i can't remember but i had lunch with
boz says
james taylor
Belle says
yeah, maybe him
boz says
on slow days do they ever let you perform surgery
Belle says
just yours tomorrow
boz says
you wish
Belle says
hahahaha!
Belle says
Small Soldiers is on!
boz says
is that the animated one, or the one with zil zheaton
Belle says
the animated one
Belle says
one of my brothers used to tell me my dolls came to life when i went to sleep at night
Belle says
scaaaared me
boz says
harpo, or chico
Belle says
james taylor
boz says
I thought you only had one brother
Belle says
john irving wrote my life
Belle says
no, i have 3
boz says
that would explain a lot of things
Belle says
no it wouldn't
boz says
your fascination with john irving and hotel new hampshire
boz says
no chico, not the bad touch
boz says
what kind of dolls did you have they came to life when you were asleep
Belle says
chucky
boz says
wait!!! two of your brothers aren't japanese are they, and they don't wear penis hats, do they
Belle says
not last i checked
Belle says
i had cabbage patch kids
boz says
boys or girls
Belle says
a few of both
boz says
few of both wowser, you must have been rich
boz says
come on, you remember their names, and are dying to tell me,
Belle says
i was the only girl AND the youngest, i was spoiled
Belle says
i do, i actually was just talking about them the other day to my friend that i have known forever and she told me the names of hers. she also said one of hers was a lesbian though
boz says
in psychology that is called transference
Belle says
hahahha
Belle says
i always wanted a black one
Belle says
i still might
boz says
my mother bought a xmas one for half price at a da y before xmas sale at ben franklin's a few years back
boz says
she bought, stored it away, and it hasn't been heard from since
Belle says
until.... dun dun dun...
Belle says
it comes to life on CHRISTMAS EVE
Belle says
and kills everyone in east taiwan!!!
boz says
you've been watching too much of the sci fi channel
Belle says
Zoolander is on too!
boz says
ben stiller is sooooo yesterday
Belle says
i never watch the sci fi channel, you never know when zil zheaton might pop up on you
boz says
I am suprised the gay community hasn't killed ben stiller yet for his lame portrayls of closeted gay men
Belle says
i gave you the best mother boz xmas gift
Belle says
idea
boz says
oh let me check
Belle says
the gay community DID kill ben stiller, that is not him, it's a gay man playing ben stiller playing a closeted gay man
boz says
oh, I saw that comment the other day
boz says
like mother boz knows how to operate a dvd player
boz says
isn't he married to marcia brady
Belle says
yes!
boz says
or tom brady
Belle says
but not the real marcia brady
boz says
no, the one from the movies
boz says
the stepford marcia brady
Belle says
yes
Belle says
she was also in one awesomest movie
boz says
what
Belle says
uhhh
Belle says
let me look, i have it, i forget the name, my memory is going
Belle says
overnight delivery
boz says
when you had lunch with james taylor did he mention carly simon
Belle says
not at all
Belle says
he was actually pretty quiet
boz says
they were married you know
Belle says
he talked a little about the performance he was doing at boston symphony and if i would like to do a few lines of coke with him in the alley way, and that was it
Belle says
yes, she wrote that song about him
boz says
noooo, it was about me
boz says
dammit
boz says
me
boz says
really, he said that about the coke
Belle says
yeah
boz says
after a nice healthy vegetarian lunch
Belle says
only he didn't say coke or alley way or anything like that
boz says
I feel so used
boz says
again
Belle says
yes, gotta be healthy
Belle says
used and abused
boz says
and kicked to the curb
Belle says
have you met my neighbor
boz says
the one who is stalking you, or the other one
Belle says
why, you thought james taylor only asked you to do lines of coke with him in the alley
Belle says
have you seen the Hallmark commercial where the lady puts the Hallmark singing snowman and dog thing on the grumpy neighbor's doorstep
Belle says
and it makes him smile and peace on earth and all
boz says
no
Belle says
i got one of those for myself
boz says
has it worked
boz says
I don't buy xmas stuff anymore, except for the 99 cent cd from the speedway station when you buy 8 gallons of gas or more, from coca cola
Belle says
it is insanely loud! i am afraid to ever make it sing because they might send the security after me
Belle says
or it might make my neighbor beat his wife
Belle says
speedway
boz says
gas station
boz says
that's where I get my 64 ounce fountain coke refills for 89 cents
boz says
did you buy the three cards
Belle says
hahaha they have a video of it!
Belle says
yeah i did
Belle says
but just so i could get that thing
Belle says
here!!!!
boz says
I'm watching the video, that would get real old, real quick
Belle says
no, watch the commercial
Belle says
you could be that mann!
Belle says
aimee mann
boz says
I should go to our hallmark gold crown store and get that for mother boz
Belle says
you should, did you see the way that man's face lit up
Belle says
and the dog
Belle says
it was really heartwarming
boz says
did I ever tell you about the time a transvestite robbed our local hallmark store
Belle says
no, i don't believe you did
Belle says
was this another of your special dreams
boz says
it was around xmas time too
boz says
no, this really happened
boz says
a woman walked into the store and held them up, and then fled, and they threw up a roadblock and did one of those searches and they found a wig, then a dress, then some tasteful pumps ...
Belle says
how does that make it a transvestite
Belle says
my dad wears tasteful pumps
boz says
with 34 inch heals
boz says
heels
boz says
and no, it wasn't me
Belle says
right
Belle says
you know a little too much about this
Belle says
do you have an alibi
boz says
statue of limitations has probably run out on it
boz says
statute
boz says
isn't small town life exciting
Belle says
i wish my name was winnie
Belle says
i don't live in a small town
boz says
winnie as in pooh
Belle says
no, as in cooper
boz says
winifred
Belle says
yes
boz says
that is almost like a guy name
Belle says
well not if people just call me winnie
boz says
yeah, but the first day of school the teacher would call you winifred and everyone would laugh, and you would be branded as a social outcast for the rest of the year, and the next year your father would transfer you to an exclusive private school and muffie and her snobby friends would ostracize you ... are you still sure you want to be named winnie
Belle says
fred savage would protect me
boz says
actually winnie cooper has a pretty big head
Belle says
i keep pictures of winnie around just for this kind of occasion
Belle says
this should be yours
Belle says
hahahaha
Belle says
wow, you guys have the same expression on there
boz says
ha
Belle says
oh my ygod hhahahahaha
Belle says
i didn't notice right away, but wow, talk about a big head
Belle says
was that your desktop wallpaper
Belle says
or the pic you carry in your wallet
boz says
fred, it's one he sent me before he found out what I was really after and he slapped the restraining order on me
Belle says
is he a member of NAMBLA too
Belle says
He was on the WEst Wing i think
Belle says
he's all grown up
boz says
our member lists are confidential
Belle says
that's not what ben stiller said
boz says
hahaha
Belle says
aaaaaaaaggggghhhh
Belle says
i always hated him
Belle says
why was he so mean to fred
boz says
search me
Belle says
sexual tension
boz says
probably
Belle says
hahahahahahahahaha
Belle says
Benson!!!
boz says
is that benson
Belle says
it's mini alex
Belle says
your stalker
boz says
tracey! you've gaine weight
Belle says
brian bonsall
Belle says
better start starving yourself again, tracey!
boz says
she was in a movie on the lifetime movie channel tonight
boz says
of course patty duke played her mother
Belle says
well that's fitting
boz says
oh my god, this really does smack of nambla
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosBonsallBrian.jpg
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.com1.html
boz says
they are all of young celebrity boys
boz says
tatum!
Belle says
god, i'm probably on the FBI list just for clicking those links
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosOsmentHaleyJoel.jpg
Belle says
nooooo
Belle says
i see his name in there, that's enough
boz says
hahahaha
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosDeppJohnny.jpg
boz says
I've got this one
Belle says
the collection
boz says
the johnny depp collection
Belle says
does it include him in the edward scissorhands pose
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosSchroderRick.jpg
Belle says
i'm not a huge depp fan, johnny or the gel. i am deeply disturbed that he will be playing willy wonka
boz says
you want that one, don't you, little ricky schroder
Belle says
well he is hot in that sweater
Belle says
or was, he's dead, isn't he
boz says
I'd kill for this one
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosHaimCorey.jpg
Belle says
hahahaha
boz says
this is very weird
Belle says
yeah, definitely
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comPhotosThomasJonathanTaylor.jpg
Belle says
don't worry, if the FBI is recording this conversation, i won't tell them you are an amish pedophile
Belle says
oh my god, MY EYES
Belle says
when did he come down with epilepsy
boz says
he looks good in pink
Belle says
is that you in the background
Belle says
i recognize the suspenders
Belle says
and the cane
boz says
yeah, I was like hey, I lost my dog would you like to help me find it
Belle says
come to my ranch, it's called neverland!
boz says
and he struck a pose and said Would I
Belle says
hahahaha
Belle says
that's so wrong
boz says
I hope I don't puke in my hands
boz says
httpwww.celebphotos.fcpages.comContact.jpg
Belle says
do it, puke it up, now!
Belle says
omg chad allen
Belle says
and wil wheat- on!
boz says
are any of them straight
Belle says
no
Belle says
that's where it all begins to make sense
Belle says
hahahaha
Belle says
gus!!!
boz says
I like fred better
Belle says
fred is pretty funny
Belle says
i'm not surprised you like the young boy better
Belle says
aaaaagggghhh
Belle says
you DO have the collection
Belle says
wait until the FBI seizes your computer
Belle says
they'll find all these pics and haul you away
boz says
hahaha
Belle says
mother boz will be left alone
Belle says
maybe they'll call me as a character witness
boz says
she'll probably turn me in
boz says
that's it for tonight
Belle says
look though, how this guy wayne feels about river phoenix
Belle says
httpwww.angelfire.comilmjphoeniximagesgif.gif
Belle says
you are wayne, aren't you
boz says
wayne is just one of the many names I used when I troll, I mean when I visit the teen boys who aren't good at sports chat rooms
Belle says
i had a feeling
Belle says
only you could write something so deep
Belle says
i got choked up at that touched by an angel part
Belle says
and when you called him rio, oh man
boz says
and call him rio without sound gay
Belle says
the waterworks fell
boz says
I think I'd better go to bed
Belle says
if i had a goat, i would totally name it river phoenix
Belle says
yes, you will need your rest for the shock treatment
boz says
rio for short
Belle says
good luck!
Belle says
may the force be with you
boz says
thanks, and thanks for the help in my hour of need!
Belle says
or as levar burton would say,
boz says
ungh
Belle says
hahahaha
Belle says
ok take care, talk to you later alligator
boz says
night
Belle says
nighters

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

My dinner with Ione Skye

George Michael says:
last christmas i gave you my heart
George Michael says:
the very next day you threw it away
George Michael says:
so not cool, even i, who has FAITH, can't handle that
boz says:
is george still gay?
George Michael says:
is david schwimmer still gay?
George Michael says:
yes, and yes
boz says:
I can tell you a story about david schwimmer
George Michael says:
not another story about making a guy orgasm with out "touching" him
boz says:
no, this story doesn't involve me in any sense of the word
George Michael says:
what word?
boz says:
any word
boz says:
so george, where have you been for the past week?
George Michael says:
lighting leather jackets across the world on fire
boz says:
hey, I have two leather jackets
George Michael says:
not anymore
George Michael says:
mother boz let me in
boz says:
the tramp!
George Michael says:
she's pretty easy
boz says:
she's standing right behind me watching and taking notes, she wants me to give her your mailing address
George Michael says:
mother boz can write?
boz says:
pictographs, like Johnny Cash used in that one movie
George Michael says:
he's dead, right?
boz says:
well, yeah, now he is
George Michael says:
i don't think that's a coincidence
boz says:
Lee Remick is dead too
George Michael says:
marci never said anything about the emails i sent her
boz says:
I didn't send her any
George Michael says:
I did though
boz says:
have you talked to her?
George Michael says:
no
boz says:
then how do you know she hasn't said anything?
George Michael says:
i left her a comment asking if she got them, but no reply
George Michael says:
well she hasn't said anything to ME
boz says:
why would she?
George Michael says:
hey you know what would be a great idea
boz says:
a cure for cancer?
George Michael says:
let's download msn pre-alpha beta kappa gamma 20.6!
boz says:
ok, you first
George Michael says:
and nudge each other!
boz says:
I've been doing too much nudging lately
George Michael says:
oooh
boz says:
besides I can't nudge with a guy named George
George Michael says:
you finally went out with that guy mother boz wanted to set you up with?
George Michael says:
the ex convict?
boz says:
actually he's more your type, he breathes through his mouth
George Michael says:
does he have gills?
George Michael says:
so you got pretty close to his mouth, huh?
boz says:
no, but he has seen water world
George Michael says:
best movie ever
boz says:
next to the postman
George Michael says:
hahahha
boz says:
and the life and death of peter sellers
George Michael says:
did you see that?
boz says:
the peter sellers movie?
boz says:
I started watching it, turned it off after an hour, then watched some more, but haven't seen all of it, it pretty much sucks
George Michael says:
nothing compares to the Nelson Mandela 70th Birthday Tribute I did
boz says:
that was awesome
boz says:
you did nelson mandela on his 70th birthday?
George Michael says:
well the way i looked at it was, Nelson Mandela played the part of the dying child and I was his wish and my pimp was the make-a-wish foundation
boz says:
you've always had the charitable side, too bad more people don't know about it
George Michael says:
seriously
George Michael says:
i get a bad rep
George Michael says:
sometimes i even buy one of those paper shamrocks at the supermarket for a dollar
George Michael says:
and i don't even write my name on it
George Michael says:
that's how selfless i am
boz says:
ha, I bought two of the paper xmas stockings for a dollar each today
George Michael says:
sucker!
George Michael says:
i mean, nice
boz says:
each dollar spent supplies 14 dollars of food to the michigan food bank
Belle says:
for the refugee children
boz says:
in east tawain
Belle says:
well it's a good cause
boz says:
it is, cause we make the children entertain us before we feed them
Belle says:
we all have to work for our food, they should learn that
boz says:
they're doing phantom this year
Belle says:
of the opera?
boz says:
well yeah
Belle says:
why not jesus christ superstar
Belle says:
i went to see Ocean's Twelve over the weekend
boz says:
and you called me a sucker!
Belle says:
many similarities to jesus christ superstar
boz says:
yeah, both movies sucked
Belle says:
george clooney and brad bitt took turns playing jesus christ
Belle says:
actually it wasn't horrible, but the first one was better
Belle says:
it didn't really make sense
Belle says:
at all
Belle says:
but who am i to judge
boz says:
yeah, who was the twelth ocean?
boz says:
lavar burton?
Belle says:
catherine zeta shoot me
Belle says:
lavar would have been better
boz says:
did you ever see her nude preggo without make up at the beach pics?
Belle says:
i would actually have prefered to see matt damon rape lavar burton while lavar grunted out then watch catherine zeta jones try to act
Belle says:
*than
Belle says:
not then
boz says:
freudian slip
Belle says:
maybe so
boz says:
she could do porn
Belle says:
she's gross!
boz says:
ok, sure, whatever
Belle says:
seriously, i can't dig her
boz says:
you know what movie I really like
boz says:
fast forward
boz says:
noooo
boz says:
I mean Auto Focus
boz says:
about Colonel Hogan
Belle says:
yes with greg
Belle says:
the guy formerly from E talk soup
boz says:
yeah, I didn't get E when he was the host
Belle says:
catherine zeta jones wasn't in that
Belle says:
well it was a good show
Belle says:
he's a funny guy
boz says:
my sister loved it and kept trying to make a video of it and send it to me
boz says:
but she didn't figure out how to do it until the guy who played on that showtime show about the gay guys in pittsburgh became the host
boz says:
queer as folk, was that the name of it?
Belle says:
no hablo
Belle says:
let me ask george
boz says:
george is too busy making levar grunt
Belle says:
not in MY house!!!
boz says:
stuffy in here
Belle says:
boil some water
boz says:
why?
Belle says:
add moisture?
boz says:
stuffy means there is too much moisture
Belle says:
not on my planet
boz says:
I should probably freeze some water
Belle says:
yeah, do that
Belle says:
make ice
Belle says:
that will help
boz says:
and make cocktais
boz says:
l
Belle says:
you know what i loved, those fake ice cubes, they are like plastic in different shapes and you freeze them
Belle says:
you should make those
Belle says:
we used to have those when i was little, not really sure why though
boz says:
you mean the stuff that looks blue and you put it in your cooler when you go on a picnic
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
like little balls
Belle says:
little plastic balls
Belle says:
hahahah
Belle says:
seriously though
Belle says:
do you know what i'm talking about?
Belle says:
my three year old nephew yelled at me on the phone the other day because i didn't understand what he was asking me
Belle says:
i couldn't stop laughing
Belle says:
who is fcabanski?
boz says:
some guy, I thought it was malone but it isn't. let me find his site for you, he's a real nerd.
boz says:
http://www.colabear.com/
boz says:
he's also pooty
boz says:
and tuna
Belle says:
weird
Belle says:
what is his deal
boz says:
and elbert
boz says:
I don't know
boz says:
he said he was looking for you
boz says:
you must not have scrolled back far enough on the zonkboard
Belle says:
that's fine, just tell me you know what fake ice cubes are
boz says:
I'm with your nephew on this one
boz says:
you had them as a kid? sounds like some kind of false repressed memory syndrome
Belle says:
no, really
Belle says:
i'm looking for a picture
Belle says:
you will hit yourself when you see
boz says:
you probably won't find one, because they DON'T exist
boz says:
I'm sure if your google is as good as your explanation to me ...
Belle says:
hahaha
Belle says:
hold on, i'm sure they're here somewhere
Belle says:
google can read minds now anyway
boz says:
why haven't you done Jonnie's mp3 test
boz says:
are you afraid that you'll get nothing but Journey?
boz says:
and Huey Lewis
boz says:
and the Macarena
Belle says:
exactly
Belle says:
why can't i find these ice cubes!!!
boz says:
talk to your therapist, maybe he can plant a different false memory
Belle says:
all i found was this lav nav
Belle says:
http://www.drinkstuff.com/products/product.asp?ID=930&title=The+Lav+Nav
Belle says:
pee hole wee wee light it says hahaha
boz says:
I think I found the perfect xmas gift for mother boz
Belle says:
the lav nav?
boz says:
yeah
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
maybe they weren't ice cubes but we just used them that way
Belle says:
i can't find them anywhere
boz says:
they might have been marbles
boz says:
or some kind of sex toy
boz says:
and they just told you it was some kind of fake ice
boz says:
that damn star jones!
boz says:
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1214041starjones1.html?link=rssfeed
Belle says:
i heard she demanded her whole wedding for free, she's a scrounge
boz says:
someone wanted to marry her?
boz says:
was it lavar burton?
boz says:
http://www.wtks.com/timages/page/jim_ladder2.gif
boz says:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5541506879#ebayphotohosting
boz says:
promise me that I'll be buried in this
boz says:
http://www.kissonline.com/kasket/body.html
Belle says:
47000 is too much, no way
Belle says:
http://www.bigfoto.com/miscellaneous/photos-14/plastic-ice_cube.jpg
Belle says:
this is the best i can get
boz says:
that's it?
Belle says:
i can't find anything!!
boz says:
ok, so it isn't ice, but you freeze it and use it as ice
Belle says:
i thought you were talking to me when you said you wouldn't forget the mil
Belle says:
k
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
exactly!!!
Belle says:
it's plastic
boz says:
and it's reusable
Belle says:
but has liquid in it
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
if you wash it i guess
boz says:
why didn't you say that
Belle says:
did you have them too?
boz says:
http://www.bacheloretteparties.com/rratreusicec.html
boz says:
try that
Belle says:
noooooooooooooo
Belle says:
they were not phallic
boz says:
this?
boz says:
http://www.aaa.com.au/australian-gifts/aus-gifts-lite-cubes.html
Belle says:
no, they did not light up
Belle says:
that's kind of scary
Belle says:
i don't want my drink lighting up
boz says:
how about a penis in your drink?
boz says:
waiter there's a penis in my drink!
boz says:
shhhhhh, everyone will want one
boz says:
I here star jones gets all her reusable ice cubes for free
Belle says:
damn her!!!
Belle says:
who does she think she is anyway, she invited donald trump to her wedding
Belle says:
someone needs to have a talk with her and i think we both know who that is
boz says:
joy behar?
Belle says:
close
boz says:
meredith viera
boz says:
mmmmmmmm, I have vanilla air freshener cannisters
Belle says:
no, i think meredith viera and joy behar are the same person
Belle says:
vanilla is so yesterday
boz says:
I'm an old fashioned kind of guy
Belle says:
you want the birthday cake smell i have
boz says:
you mean like vanilla birthday cake?
Belle says:
no, i mean like birthday cake, not just plain old vanilla
Belle says:
do you want to fight?
Belle says:
go talk to your best friend star
boz says:
they don't have that at the dollar store yet, wait till the FDA bans it then they dollar store will get it
Belle says:
i went to elementary school with someone named star, she got lice a lot
Belle says:
you say everything i have is bad, will break my computer or kill me
boz says:
I knew a guy named Toy when I was stationed in Mississippi
boz says:
and I had a professor named Tannenbaum
Belle says:
http://store1.yimg.com/I/graveyard_1808_5206098
boz says:
oh that!
boz says:
I guess your parents hid the penis shaped ones
Belle says:
or i thought they were something else
boz says:
anal beads

boz says:
did I just say anal beads?
Belle says:
you said it very dramatically too
boz says:
like I knew what I was talking about
Belle says:
so do you always freeze your anal beads for extra oomph?
Belle says:
anyway, back to my point, and i did have one
boz says:
you had anal beads?
Belle says:
freeze some of those plastic ice balls and all will be right with the world
boz says:
I'll delete that part
Belle says:
no more stuffy, no more anything bad
Belle says:
no, you have anal beads
Belle says:
you're the male prostitute
boz says:
that was just a dream
Belle says:
dreams are a gateway into the subconscious, boz
boz says:
and a dream is a wish your heart makes
Belle says:
hahahahaha
boz says:
I think annette funicello said that
Belle says:
jimminy crickett
Belle says:
i always get them confused too, though
boz says:
I told you that Pinochhio killed the crickett early on in the original story, didn't I?
Belle says:
right, and my brothers used to hunt smurfs
boz says:
snipe, not smurfs
Belle says:
i'm shuffling
Belle says:
i won't listen to your negativity regarding pinocchio
Belle says:
do i have to listen to them or can i hit next?
boz says:
what is someone gonna check up on you?
Belle says:
i mean, does it mess up the shuffle?
boz says:
no
Belle says:
hahahahaha
boz says:
the homer and jethro song came up, right?
Belle says:
how many, 10?
boz says:
yes
boz says:
geez!!
boz says:
you should be up to 100 by now
Belle says:
oh i finished, i was just looking at all the songs i didn' t realize i had
boz says:
I've got like 77 hours of songs on my harddrive
boz says:
I'm doing another list
Belle says:
i have 726 songs i think
boz says:
come away melinda by judy collins
boz says:
did you post your list?
Belle says:
i thought so
boz says:
on rwbs?
Belle says:
yeah
boz says:
don't see it
boz says:
black day in july by gordon lightfoot
boz says:
One of these days by the velvet underground
Belle says:

boz says:
now what?
Belle says:
nothing, but i posted mine, i had typed it and not clicked post
boz says:
ha
Belle says:
i'm cool like that
boz says:
it's that brain infarction you have
Belle says:
from eating the plastic ice
boz says:
hey, I have some camper van beethoven on my hd too
boz says:
and pixies
boz says:
Love ...
Belle says:
hahahahaha
boz says:
Love will keep us together ...
Belle says:
i don't know where that came from, really
boz says:
I think about the most embarrasing songs I might have would be some abba
Belle says:
abba is not embarrassing!
boz says:
oh, I have the rain the park and other things by the cowsills
Belle says:
do you have any air?
Belle says:
Air
Belle says:
Air is good
boz says:
never heard of them
Belle says:
seriously?
boz says:
yeah, seriously
Belle says:
wowza
boz says:
I don't watch mtv hits
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
you're so funny i forgot to laugh
Belle says:
why doesn't anyone say that anymore?
boz says:
ouch that stung
Belle says:
have you ever peed your pants from laughing?
boz says:
counting now?
Belle says:
hardy har har, yes
boz says:
no
Belle says:
pull ups count too
boz says:
I have started to gag though
Belle says:
my best friend made me throw up in my hands once
boz says:
some of kind of D/s ?
Belle says:
what?
Belle says:
no habla
boz says:
Domination/ submission
Belle says:
NO!
boz says:
Master slave
Belle says:
laughing
boz says:
Mistress slave
boz says:
well, the way you said it
Belle says:
FINE
boz says:
no please Mistress, not that!
Belle says:
don't make me puke in my hands again!
boz says:
retch, bitch,retch
Belle says:
no, it's not like that
boz says:
that's good
Belle says:
do you have a most played list on your music player?
boz says:
I think so
Belle says:
tell me the top five
boz says:
ok
Belle says:
wow the playcount is nuts
Belle says:
ok go
Belle says:
i SAID GO
boz says:
I am
Belle says:
don't make me make you throw up in your hands
boz says:
go go girl by gordon lightfoot
boz says:
randy scouse git by the monkees
boz says:
bright future in sales by fountains of wayne
Belle says:
are you cheating or what
boz says:
no
Belle says:
is that 5?
boz says:
no
Belle says:
well that's enough
Belle says:
i'm already bored
boz says:
good
Belle says:
cheetah!
boz says:
I am not
boz says:
you need to burn me about 10 cds
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
do I look like I'm joking?
Belle says:
sorry, i only have the one captain and tenille song
boz says:
bull shit, I bet you have muskrat love on continuous play
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
that sounds like a nervous laugh
boz says:
not a throw up in your hands laugh
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
but really
boz says:
I remember one time when I was stationed in Japan me and my two roommates were the only three guys in the barracks and some little japanese guy came in with one of those spray cans that you hung over your shoulder and started sprayin the barracks and the three of us ran out of the barracks puking
boz says:
he had a mask on too
boz says:
but none of us puked in our hands
Belle says:
i had to puke in my hands, we were in the car
boz says:
and she told you too, right
Belle says:
i hate it when japanese guys come into my house and spray chemicals at me though, i feel your pain
Belle says:
she did tell me to, she didn't want me to puke in her car
boz says:
he kept mumbling something about hiroshimam nagasaki, and some other stuff I couldn't make out
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
it happens
boz says:
oh, here's another good one
boz says:
at the snack bar at the bowling alley the japanese guy behind the snack bar was really short, almost a midget, and one time I went up to get a beer, and I threw the quarter on the bar and it landed right near the outer edge and he couldn't reach it, he kept jumping up and down trying to get it
boz says:
then I went back and told my friends about it, and we all started putting the quarter right on the edge of the bar, just to see him jump up and down
boz says:
after a week or so he got himself a little rake to rake the quarter in
Belle says:
that's mean
boz says:
but funny
Belle says:
you're going to HELL
Belle says:
you probably eat kielbasa too
boz says:
I'm telling you, if you would have seen how funny he looked, you would have done it too
boz says:
he wore glasses too
boz says:
and short sleeved white shirts
boz says:
and tiny little shoes
Belle says:
mean, mean, mean
boz says:
mmmmmmmm vanilla
Belle says:
this totally cancels out the paper stockings you bought
boz says:
man
boz says:
what a gyp
boz says:
were you drunk when you threw up in your hands?
boz says:
why don't you stick your finger down your throat and do it again, for me
Belle says:
no, and no
boz says:
while wearing your monkey mask of doom
Belle says:
nooooooooo
boz says:
did you wear that on the bus the last time you went to nyc?
Belle says:
no, but people probably wouldn't look twice
boz says:
or do you only wear it when you do housework
Belle says:
there are some weird people out there and they all take the bus to NYC
boz says:
sounds like a song
boz says:
from new hampshire to new york city
boz says:
you'd better watch your step
boz says:
cause there's some things out there that aren't so pretty
boz says:
baby!
Belle says:
don't quit your day job
boz says:
don't worry, if I had one I wouldn't
Belle says:
i saw my neighbor the other morning at like 5am and he had no teeth
Belle says:
i got flabbergasted and ran away
boz says:
I wept because I had no lips till I saw my neighbor who had no teeth
Belle says:
he was in his pj's
Belle says:
he said hi to me and went to take his paper from me, but i ran
boz says:
too bad you didn't have a whistle or an air horn
Belle says:
i was in my pj's too
boz says:
do you live in a seniors complex?
Belle says:
you know, i might
Belle says:
they are all like a billion years old
boz says:
did he say, come here little girl and feel the bad touch
Belle says:
i ran before he could!
Belle says:
he beats his wife, she told me
boz says:
at least doesn't bite her
Belle says:
his wife stalks me
Belle says:
she is in a wheel chair
boz says:
a power wheel chair?
Belle says:
she knows what time i leave the house each day and everything and if i am late she will say something
Belle says:
she said sometimes at night she has to go to the bathroom and she tries to wake up her husband to take her and he hits her
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
can you blame him?
Belle says:
no, she is way crazy
Belle says:
i believe she can really walk, i saw her one day
Belle says:
she fakes
Belle says:
i can't judge though, since i have faked blindness and made my friend fake a limp
boz says:
she's like the fat people at walmart who use the motorized carts
Belle says:
she goes to day care
boz says:
you should have made your friend fake a limp and then throw up in her hands
Belle says:
maybe next time
boz says:
is this 'friend" visible to anyone besides you?
Belle says:
did you hear blockbuster is getting rid of late fees?
Belle says:
i think so
boz says:
big deal the closest blockbuster is 40 miles away
Belle says:
i wonder if it's retro active, i owe them like a billion dollars, that's why i stopped going there
boz says:
do you still have the videos?
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
2
boz says:
freaky friday and sex in the city season one?
Belle says:
no, but they are really crappy
boz says:
what are they?
Belle says:
at least one is, it's http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114496/
Belle says:
i think bonnie rait wrote it
Belle says:
the other one i kinda liked, but i like ione skye
Belle says:
and fairuza balk was in it too
Belle says:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104321/
Belle says:
i identified with trudi
Belle says:
i wish my name was trudi
boz says:
I've seen gas food and lodging on a premium channel
Belle says:
what did you think?
boz says:
I don't really remember too much about it, but I like ione skye too
boz says:
she is Donovan's daughter
boz says:
my middle name is trudi
Belle says:
you lie
Belle says:
i think these were new releases when i stole them
Belle says:
why isn't ione skye in more movies?
boz says:
I don't know, she was really good in that prison movie she was in
boz says:
she was in But I'm a Cheerleader!
boz says:
uncredited
Belle says:
went to coney island on a mission from god?
boz says:
this is it
boz says:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109903/
boz says:
I think it was a movie made for showtime
boz says:
I have to write a post comparing citizen kane and a christmas story
Belle says:
i wish my name was ione skye
Belle says:
oh!!!
boz says:
the similiarities are amazing
Belle says:
i got my dad the Leg Lamp for christmas
Belle says:
frag-ee-lay
boz says:
it must be from italy
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
my dad is going to love it!
boz says:
sure he is
Belle says:
my stepmother, not so much, but my dad will!
boz says:
if your name were ione skye you last name would be leitch, could you take that?
boz says:
pronounced leech
boz says:
and how do you pronounce ione?
boz says:
oooooh, sixpence none the richer just came on shuffle
Belle says:
eye-own-ee
boz says:
kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Belle says:
no i was wrong
Belle says:
it's eye-on-ee
Belle says:
no i was right
boz says:
that's just wrong
Belle says:
it's eye-oh-nee
boz says:
she should change her name it isabella
boz says:
skye
Belle says:
skye!
Belle says:
maybe she will swap with me
boz says:
that would go good together isabella skye
boz says:
now my name has always sounded weird to me
boz says:
it sounds like some kind of japanese conglomerate
boz says:
kenco
Belle says:
like petco
Belle says:
ken cole shoes and bags though, that's quite a name
Belle says:
i think i have a kenneth cole bag
boz says:
wasn't that the name of the whiskey bill murray was advertising in lost in translation
boz says:
kenco whiskey
boz says:
you should buy me a kenneth cole watch for xmas
boz says:
kiss me deadly by lita ford
boz says:
I wish my name was kenneth cole
boz says:
doh!!!
boz says:
it worked!!!
Belle says:
wowwwwwwwwwwww
Belle says:
i don't think kenneth cole makes watches
boz says:
yeah, they do
boz says:
you should rent this one
boz says:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0323248/
Belle says:
user comments: okay I guess
boz says:
greg zola plays snout
Belle says:
DVD Purchase : No way in hell.

Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
I think we have invented a new internet game, you find a movie and then click on one of the cast members and see what movies he or she has been in and then you click on the weirdest title and on and on
boz says:
my new favorite actor
boz says:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004897/
boz says:
he played himself in an episode of family feud the playboy bunnies vs the bachelors
boz says:
Plot Summary: Love, pride and jealousy are aroused when a ranch owners daughter, called Lizzie, has an affair with a cowboy...
Belle says:
hahaha
boz says:
are you shopping for my watch?
boz says:
Lizzie!
Belle says:
i got distracted by jerry maguire quotes
Belle says:
he was on melrose place
boz says:
so
Belle says:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0186454/
Belle says:
oh no, not deadly motorcycle gangs!!!
boz says:
he was thrust!
Belle says:
Ice-T was in that too
boz says:
so was jennifer o'dell she was in the lost world tv series
boz says:
levar burton was born in germany
boz says:
laugh at me by sonny bono
boz says:
Marge Gunderson: Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.
boz says:
fargo
Belle says:
did you see vanilla sky?
boz says:
tom cruise?
boz says:
nope didn't see it
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
really?
boz says:
yeah really,
Belle says:
well then, fine!
boz says:
me and tom have an agreement, I don't watch his movies and he doesn't leave anonymous comments on my blog
boz says:
Marge Gunderson: You have no call to get snippy with me; I'm just trying to do my job here.
Belle says:
i like Fargo
Belle says:
you should watch vanilla sky
boz says:
you like it because of william h.
boz says:
didn't you say that vanilla was soooo yesterday?
Belle says:
but vanilla sky
Belle says:
you should watch it because a lot of people hate it
boz says:
oh, that makes sense
Belle says:
and they hate it because they don't get it
boz says:
what don't they get?
Belle says:
you have to see it to understand
boz says:
I'll pass
Belle says:
it's all a dream
Belle says:
people don't get that
boz says:
damn people!
boz says:
Mother boz is watching King of the Hill and she has the sound up all the way
boz says:
plus she has closed caption on!
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
that's cute
Belle says:
peggy hill has to go to mexico to get her shoes
boz says:
I think they show about 10 hours straight of king of the hill on fx
Belle says:
they do
boz says:
she watches that, then turns on the sci-fi channel
boz says:
then she turns on turner classic and watches that till morning then bitches because the movies all suck and they don't have closed caption
Belle says:
poor mother boz
boz says:
poor me!
Belle says:
oh yeah, sure
Belle says:
poor you
Belle says:
i am going to the salon on thursday, is mother boz going, too?
boz says:
hey, it's very disconcerting to wake up at six in the morning to go to the bathroom and hear jimmy cagney screaming in the next room
boz says:
yes she is, on thursday at 2
boz says:
3
Belle says:
maybe i'll see her there!
boz says:
she'd call you uppity if you called it a salon
Belle says:
maybe we can get matching dye jobs
Belle says:
well it is a salon
boz says:
humph salon!
Belle says:
salon sabeha!
boz says:
alley cuts
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
and karen does her hair
boz says:
no Mr. Bobby
Belle says:
danielle will be doing mine, maybe we can sit next to each other
boz says:
like at a salon
Belle says:
i have no mr. bobby
boz says:
danielle, what kind of big city name is that?
Belle says:
hahaha
Belle says:
actually she spells it Danylle
boz says:
i bet her real name is dorthy
boz says:
fernando by abba
Belle says:
and she talks to the man in the moon
Belle says:
or a tree
boz says:
I had a cousin who used to go out in the woods and talk to the trees
Belle says:
until rabid deer killed her?
boz says:
his name was nunzio
Belle says:
uh huh
boz says:
he was half italian and half hillbilly
Belle says:
aren't we all
boz says:
I wish
Belle says:
frageeeeelay
Belle says:
ok i gotta go to bed maintenant!
boz says:
sure, fine, whatever
boz says:
we have to start leaving anonymous comments on Dinner With Boz
Belle says:
to make ourselves look cool?
boz says:
yeah
Belle says:
it might work for me, but i dont' know
Belle says:
you talk an awful lot about anal beads, not sure anonymous comments can help
boz says:
hey, I'm the jesus of cool, pronounced hay-sus
Belle says:
like my gardener?
boz says:
no, I have teeth
Belle says:
hahahaha
Belle says:
at least at the moment
boz says:
well, until I take them out for the night
Belle says:
i hear King of the Hill makes people's teeth fall out
boz says:
I don't watch it
Belle says:
you don't have to
Belle says:
you just have to hear it
Belle says:
i saw it on CSI
Belle says:
the sound waves go to your teeth
boz says:
noooooooooooooooo, I feel a molar starting to loosen
Belle says:
CSI New Mexico with Salma Hayek
boz says:
i thought I was that on CSI Portsmouth
Belle says:
well whatever, it's all relative on CSI
boz says:
starring christina applegate
Belle says:
no, reese witherspoon
Belle says:
your granddaughter, gus
boz says:
no, david faustino
Belle says:
oh, you're right, david faustino
Belle says:
ok goodnight
boz says:
night

Thursday, December 09, 2004

My dinner with Belle's two Japanese uncles

boz says:
You made me so frustrated last night with all that msn messenger 7.0 stuff that I put my undershirt on backwards.
Belle says:
hahahaha, at least it wasn't mother boz's underpants you were putting on backwards
boz says:
I wasn't going to mention that
Belle says:
did you get some chain email from marci about NPR
boz says:
no, I didn't, national public radio?
Belle says:
unless there is another NPR i dont' know about
boz says:
non-puerto rican
Belle says:
i sensed something was wrong when the first sentence read liket his:
boz says:
you sensed???
Belle says:
Public Radio and Public TV are both very important to me in bringing daily

news and programming worth hearing and watching.

Belle says:
you know, like my spidey sense tingled?
boz says:
nerd
boz says:
which poinsettia is prettier this one
boz says:
http://boz48730.buzznet.com/user/?id=711511
boz says:
or this one
boz says:
http://boz48730.buzznet.com/user/?id=711562
boz says:
fine!!!
Belle says:
boz
Belle says:
they're both ugly
Belle says:
no offense
boz says:
hey, they are not
boz says:
they're festive
Belle says:
where do you find pink and yellow poinsettias
Belle says:
they're poison anyway, i can't have one
boz says:
you mean you wouldn't be able to stop yourself from chewing on the leaves?
boz says:
and they are red and yellow
boz says:
not pink
boz says:
pink would be wrong, just wrong
Belle says:
right, i have zero self control
Belle says:
and they are totally pink and lime green actually
boz says:
fine, be the jim carrey that stole xmas
Belle says:
lemony snickett?
boz says:
what is up with that anyway?
Belle says:
i like how you spelled unhappy camper hahaha
Belle says:
unahppy
boz says:
I know, I saw that
boz says:
I could have changed it, but thought ehhhh, let the peons think I'm human
Belle says:
lemony snickett is the new harry potter
boz says:
jim carrey is the new eddie murphy
boz says:
career down the plug hole
Belle says:
why are you bringing lavar burton into this
boz says:
point of order, is it levar or lavar?
Belle says:
who knows really
boz says:
point of order ... I'm taking minutes, so I need to know
Belle says:
i hate minutes
boz says:
why?
Belle says:
i hate chain emails
boz says:
I blame marci for that
Belle says:
i blame marci for lemony snicketts
boz says:
just don't forward the chain to me
Belle says:
i totally already did
boz says:
no you didn't, you aren't devious enough to think of that on your own
boz says:
bitch!
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
i actually sent it to both your accounts too
Belle says:
i am sooo devious
boz says:
it's lost it's shock value, so you might as well stop
Belle says:
you stop
boz says:
I did
boz says:
we should be sending it to marci
Belle says:
yes!!!!!
Belle says:
let's spam the hell out of her
boz says:
ok
boz says:
go!!!
boz says:
that's 3 so far
boz says:
6
boz says:
is ten enough?
Belle says:
yes
boz says:
how many did you send?
Belle says:
i lost count
boz says:
I bet you didn't send any
Belle says:
i wrote something in each one though
Belle says:
no, i did, and i changed the subject to fool her
boz says:
you'll teach her to send you a chain letter
Belle says:
ok i'm done
boz says:
me too
Belle says:
i wrote some funny stuff, i hope she reads them
boz says:
I didn't I just spammed her
boz says:
you know funny stuff?
Belle says:
not really, i used that quotes from that post you did about your true love debbie
boz says:
what quotes?
Belle says:
i don't know
boz says:
you know marci's friend melrockcity?
boz says:
she im'd me a couple weeks ago and she wanted to chat
Belle says:
no way
Belle says:
she was drunk?
boz says:
she did, I think she was drunk, and she was pissed that no one was in the hot tub
Belle says:
wow, was she talking about that guy too
boz says:
like we live in there or something
boz says:
I don't remember what she was talking about
Belle says:
must have been memorable
boz says:
I think we talked about her father, it was very oedipal in a sad sick sort of way
Belle says:
nice
Belle says:
people always get uncomfortable when i tell them i was taken off the bottle too soon and that i have an oral fixation
boz says:
is it getting hot in here?
boz says:
hahaha
Belle says:
is that not an appropriate thing to say?
Belle says:
is that how you spell appropriate?
boz says:
speaking about oedipus complexes, how is you dad doing, any word on the by pass?
Belle says:
they are giving it 3 weeks and then deciding
boz says:
how old a gentleman is he?
Belle says:
put him on some meds to see if that will unclog his artery, but to me it seems unlikely
Belle says:
umm
Belle says:
60?
Belle says:
maybe?
boz says:
you asking me?
Belle says:
i think he's around there
Belle says:
not older
boz says:
do you wish he was older?
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
i wish he hadn't taken me off the bottle so soon
boz says:
he took you off the bottle?
Belle says:
well, he broke it
boz says:
I bet he wanted to share it with you, now that is sick
Belle says:
don't talk smack about my daddy!
boz says:
he doesn't make you go out and buy diapers for him, does he?
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
but he does like baby food, and so do i
boz says:
and if he does, do you have any pictures?
Belle says:
hahaha
Belle says:
you WOULD want pictures, you were the one that "stumbled across" those pictures of the man dressing in his mothers clothes
boz says:
are these guys friends of your father?
boz sends:



Transfer of "51.jpg" is complete.

Belle says:
omg boz
boz says:
they're your uncles Kei and Wei aren
boz says:
aren't they
Belle says:
one of them looks like this guy i know in NY
boz says:
mr blue or mr red?
boz says:
I'll be posting that pic on rw...bs
Belle says:
i'll be refraining from commenting
Belle says:
i'm taking the boz quiz thing about the toothbrush es and whatnot though
boz says:
even after I refer to them as your pretend uncles
Belle says:
you wouldn't
boz says:
Belle's father likes her to refer to his two friends as her uncles
boz says:
I should take that quiz and see how I score
Belle says:
those are not my uncles
Belle says:
pretend or otherwise
boz says:
oh, so your dad just wants you to call them your uncles then

Belle says:
i got three that matched
boz says:
just three?
Belle says:
well
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
and why isn't purple a choice for the toothbrushes
boz says:
you aren't even a wannabe
Belle says:
i know
Belle says:
i'm a "what's a boz"
boz says:
blue is close to purple
Belle says:
still then only 3
boz says:
and I bet there has been many a time when you have thought to yourself "what's a boz?"
Belle says:
ohhhh man
Belle says:
i would have contributed to the story
boz says:
you still can, it isn't over
boz says:
I'll make the pic a caption this pic post
Belle says:
great, my uncles won't be involved
boz says:
belle's two uncles arrive early to take her to the prom
Belle says:
noooooooooo
boz says:
two cousins?
Belle says:
the comments never work for me
boz says:
just write something and email it to me and I will post it
boz says:
make sure you mention your two uncles though
boz says:
they can be two of the three wise men
Belle says:
i'm reading what people have written
Belle says:
no uncles!!!
boz says:
amyjo has written most of it, I just advance the storyline
boz says:
which is actually the hardest part
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
i just got to the part about you reaching out to jonnie
boz says:
I posted the pic
Belle says:
dont' you want to know which 3 i matched you on
Belle says:
and boz!!!
boz says:
let me see if I can guess which ones
Belle says:
those are not my uncles!
boz says:
what???
boz says:
I know, I said they weren't
boz says:
ok, you matched number 8
Belle says:
yes
boz says:
number 10
Belle says:
no
boz says:
number 9
Belle says:
no
boz says:
I'm good at this
boz says:
number two
Belle says:
no
boz says:
number 5
Belle says:
yes
boz says:
number 6
Belle says:
no
boz says:
number 7
Belle says:
no
Belle says:
hahaahahaha
boz says:
I know, number 2
Belle says:
no
boz says:
3
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
geesh
boz says:
see, I told you I could get them
boz says:
is howie long gay?
Belle says:
the correct question would be
Belle says:
is howie long married to terri thatcher
boz says:
thatcher?
Belle says:
whatever
boz says:
it's hatcher
Belle says:
lois
boz says:
and today is her birthday
Belle says:
i only know her as lois
boz says:
and that is why I asked, because dean cain is gay and an ex football player, so I just assumed that howie long must be gay too
Belle says:
a boy once told me that howie long is married
Belle says:
so i think not
boz says:
my theory is that all ex football players that work with teri hatcher are gay
Belle says:
does she make them gay?
Belle says:
teri hatcher could probably make me gay
boz says:
I don't know, it may just be in her contract
Belle says:
i didn't know dean cain was an ex football player
boz says:
I only work with gay ex football players
Belle says:
isn't he dead now
Belle says:
do you turn them straight?
boz says:
yeah, he played college football at yale or harvard or wossamotta u
Belle says:
obviously you followed his career closely
boz says:
somebody has to
Belle says:
i can picture you at all his games, with the big finger waving
Belle says:
wearing his school jacket
Belle says:
and nothing else
Belle says:
hahahahahahahaha
boz says:
Yeah, I was warming the big finger up for after the game
Belle says:
until they asked you to leave
Belle says:
well that explains how you know he's gay
boz says:
the gerbil told me
Belle says:
you are mildly obsessed with this gerbil in the ass thing
Belle says:
it's like you were taken off the gerbil too quickly
boz says:
your point?
Belle says:
i dont' think you should run around saying it to just everyone, they might think you're weird
boz says:
at least I haven't gone thru life calling two japanese men my uncles
Belle says:
not that there's anything wrong with that
boz says:
do they bring you gifts?
Belle says:
goats
boz says:
pachenko machines?
boz says:
anime
Belle says:
anime porn
boz says:
sailor moon costumes that they beg you to model for them?
boz says:
don't forget the knee socks!
Belle says:
how do you even know who sailor moon is
Belle says:
if you are not a japanese uncle yourself!!!
boz says:
dean told me
Belle says:
when he asked you to wear the outfit?
boz says:
no, when he asked me to take it off
Belle says:
was teri hatcher in the room?
boz says:
her and howie both
boz says:
let's see, how does this sound. My dinner with belle's two japanese uncles.
Belle says:
sometimes i confuse teri hatcher and teri polo
boz says:
polo is rosa's last name
Belle says:
is teri her first name?
Belle says:
i thought it was posa?
boz says:
ahhh, you fell for the ruse too
Belle says:
well truthfully, i never gave it much thought
Belle says:
but if you put a gun to my head
Belle says:
and said tell me rosa's last name
boz says:
can I????
Belle says:
i would say posa
boz says:
please!!!!!
Belle says:
sure, but only if you video it
boz says:
and send a copy to jonnie
Belle says:
hahahahaha
Belle says:
that was the funniest thing ever
Belle says:
poor jonnie
boz says:
i was going to say something rude about just how poor jonnie is, but I thought better of it
boz says:
do you think anyone reads these when I post them?
Belle says:
i just had this horrible sighting, i scrolled quickly up the zonkboard and saw something about rosa's dirty underpants
Belle says:
i will not do that again!
boz says:
it's funny, I can tell you about it if you want
Belle says:
no, it scares me
Belle says:
i prefer to remain in the dark about rosa, you ruined it for me with the polo thing
Belle says:
i am really hungry though
Belle says:
like the wolf
Belle says:
and that has nothing to do with her underpants
Belle says:
and i hope no one does read these
Belle says:
i am a role model
boz sends:


Belle says:
no
Belle says:
i will not accept
boz says:
you'd better, for your own good

Transfer of "51ab.JPG" is complete.

Belle says:
boz!!!
boz says:
what, it's not like I posted it or anything
boz says:
yet
Belle says:
even if say, i was going to the hypothetical prom with my pretend japanese uncles, they wouldn't be wearing wrestling outfits
boz says:
I don't think those are wrestling outfits
Belle says:
rollerskates, maybe, but no wrestling outfits
Belle says:
well you would know what kind they are, as a card carrying NAMBLA member
boz says:
precisely, they are man/boy love outfits
Belle says:
where is yours
boz says:
one is at the cleaners and I'm wearing the other one
Belle says:
are you wearing a helmet
boz says:
I'm wearing the flowered one
boz says:
it isn't a l
boz says:
it isn't a helmet, it's a penis hat
Belle says:
ohhhh
Belle says:
how would i know, they're not my uncles
boz says:
sure
boz says:
so you're just a beard niece for them
Belle says:
NO
Belle says:
i do not know those japanese guys
boz says:
of course they aren't, they just wandered into your house by accident
Belle says:
that's not my house
boz says:
with their penis hats
Belle says:
and their magnets
boz says:
what color is your dads penis hat?
Belle says:
nooooooooo
boz says:
my jaws are hurting from all the frivlolity
Belle says:
you have multiple jaws?
boz says:
yeah, one on each side
Belle says:
i think that is still just one jaw
boz says:
ok, then, a lower jaw and an upper jaw
Belle says:
well that isn't each side
Belle says:
that's up and down
boz says:
if you are laying down it is
Belle says:
no it's not
Belle says:
unless you are laying down upside down
boz says:
you mean like I'm doing now?
Belle says:
like a bat
boz says:
out of hell>
boz says:
ladies and gentleman let's hear it for Meatloaf!!!
Belle says:
teri hatcher should work with meatloaf
Belle says:
he has to be an ex football player
boz says:
I bet he played in his backyard when he was a kid
Belle says:
meatloaf reminds me a lot of eric stolz
boz says:
he reminds me more of kevin bacon, cause they both sing
Belle says:
no, eric stolz in his finest role
boz says:
wasn't eric stolz in Fight Club?
Belle says:
like that was based loosely on meatloaf's life
boz says:
that would be one degree of eric stolz if he was
Belle says:
no way would eric stolz appear in a brad pitt film
boz says:
oh yeah, I forgot about the whole jennifer anniston thing
boz says:
wait? brad pitt was in fight club?
boz says:
I thought it was edward norton and eric stolz
Belle says:
hahahhaa
Belle says:
that i would definitely pay to see
boz says:
and meatloaf aday
Belle says:
meatloaf aday-hatcher
boz says:
I think you mean helena bonham carter
Belle says:
same thing, different color
boz says:
or ... same color, different thing
boz says:
so did you enjoy my dream about me being a prostitute the last time we talked?
Belle says:
oh tell me
boz says:
I told you, last time, don't you remember?
Belle says:
you only catered to men, didn't you
Belle says:
no i don't
boz says:
then how did you know I only catered to men?
Belle says:
what other kind of dream would someone like you have?
boz says:
point well taken
boz says:
actually I looked a lot like mac caulkin did in that one movie
Belle says:
the good son?
Belle says:
home alone 25?
boz says:
no, the one where he played the king of the club kids
boz says:
or queen of the club kids
Belle says:
oh the gay skateboarding movie
Belle says:
ok go on
boz says:
no
boz says:
the one where he killed fez
boz says:
you really want to hear this? it isn't a pretty story
boz says:
except for me, I was very pretty
Belle says:
i'm sure you were
Belle says:
go on, you're paying by the hour here
boz says:
ok, it started out with a friend and I wandering into a brothel
boz says:
and I thought gee, I wish I had some money so I could have one of these beautiful women
boz says:
this happened as we were walking down the hall and looking into all the different rooms
boz says:
then some guy came up to me and said "how would you like it if I fixed it so you could have all the sex you wanted and it wouldn't cost you a thing"
boz says:
and I said "WOULD I"
boz says:
and he asked me if I would like to work there.
boz says:
well, yeah, but I wouldn't think there would be much call for a male prostitute
boz says:
and he said ohhhhh, you'd be a special kind of male prostitute
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
I said what the hell.
boz says:
then he said, ok, but we are going to have to give you a make over first
boz says:
and then two guys who looked like the makeover guys from the rikki lake show came in
boz says:
and they worked there magic on me
boz says:
when they finished, I looked in the mirror for the first time and ...
boz says:
I had spikey blonde hair
boz says:
multiple facial piercings
Belle says:
hahahaha
boz says:
make-up, but I think they over did the make-up a little bit
boz says:
I would never make my cheeks that red
boz says:
and I don't think I'd need false eyelashes either
boz says:
anyway ...
boz says:
I was wearing a pleather halter top
boz says:
a red satin mini skirt
boz says:
fishnet stockings
boz says:
and wedgies
boz says:
so when my make-over was complete the guy came back in and told me he had a special customer for my first time
boz says:
it was your dad and your two japanese uncles
boz says:
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
Belle says:
you're a real riot and a half
boz says:
nah, I made that part up
boz says:
my first customer was a boy who had justed turned 18 and I was to be his first time
boz says:
you have to remember that in this dream I was only about 21 or 22
boz says:
and I told the guy, no problem, send him in and I'll take care of him big time
Belle says:
big time, eh?
boz says:
and I did, without even touching him, just by talking to him
boz says:
and then I woke up
boz says:
weird huh,
boz says:
please say it;s weird
boz says:
or is that a normal dream for you?
Belle says:
uhh
Belle says:
i think it's normal to you
Belle says:
but weird to me
boz says:
except for the wediges
Belle says:
in my hooker dream i catered to men
Belle says:
i think this means something
boz says:
japanese men?
boz says:
in penis hats
Belle says:
no, anthony edwards look alike pharmacists
Belle says:
but back to you and your emotional problems
boz says:
rite aid or medicine shoppe?
Belle says:
i am concerned
boz says:
why?
Belle says:
i think this has something to do with your gerbil being taken away too early
boz says:
I was weened off gerbil milk at too young an age?
Belle says:
yes
Belle says:
i am going to get a peppermint mocha
boz says:
that happened a lot during the 50's
boz says:
fine!
boz says:
do that
Belle says:
you don't pay me enough for this gerbil/male prostitution business
boz says:
is that code for "my japanese uncles just arrived"
Belle says:
no, they've been here all along
Belle says:
i mean NO
Belle says:
i have to go
Belle says:
ciao
boz says:
fine, yeah, go,
boz says:
ciao